Archives: CSHB Research Associates

This is Part 1 of a 3-part blog post.   

Marriage is the most stable social institution, with approximately 90 percent of adults choosing to marry. Despite high rates of divorce, people expect to marry since they want a deep, lasting, and loving relationship. A number of studies have shown the appeal and benefits of a healthy marriage. Compared to those who are in unhealthy marriages, those who are in healthy marriages are physically, emotionally, financially, and sexually healthier. Married couples, on average, create more economic assets and save and invest more for the future than do otherwise single or cohabitating couples. A healthy marriage not only provides greater life satisfaction and a sense of meaning but also reduces negative emotions such as loneliness, depression, and anxiety. Despite these benefits of marriage, marital cynicism abounds. Young married couples in their first marriage have about a 40 to 50 percent divorce rate. The divorce rate of those who marry more than once rises. These statistics revealed that the level of confidence in marriage has declined.  

Why is a commitment in marriage important? 

Relationship researchers have investigated protective factors and risk factors that affect marital outcomes, including marital satisfaction and marital stability. Among the factors that increase the likelihood of positive marital outcomes, marital commitment has been given a great deal of research attention. While the definition of commitment varies in the literature, the general consensus is that marital commitment requires partners’ intention to preserve their marriage regardless of their situations and feelings or evaluations of their marriage. Such intention stems from partners’ sense of loyalty, devotion, dedication, and sacrifice. Committed partners to each other make intentional efforts for their marriage even in times of conflict and stress. 

Numerous studies revealed that lack of commitment was one of the most important contributors that affected divorce. On the other hand, partners’ high levels of marital commitment have been found to be associated with positive marital outcomes. Highly committed partners are more likely to express their affection, feel close to and interdependent with their partner, have the willingness to accommodate and sacrifice for their partner, and may be more forgiving in response to their partner’s betrayal and transgressions. Furthermore, partners in a highly committed marriage tend to have a strong sense of unity as a couple, share a long-term view of their marriage, prioritize their spouse and marriage over self-interest and are more willing to sacrifice self-interest to preserve their marriage. 

Marital commitment is also an important contributor that increases marital stability, and partners’ lack of commitment is known to be a risk factor for marital dissolution. Highly committed partners expected their union to be life-long, so divorce was not considered even during difficult times. They tend to perceive their marital issues as “solvable” and demonstrate a willingness to work on those issues. Marital commitment is also important for the stability and longevity of remarriages. What makes remarriages likely to end in divorce may be a lack of commitment rather than marital conflict itself. Commitment appears to be a vitally important variable in influencing marriage stability. 

What does the Bible say about commitment?  

The term “commitment “ is little mentioned in the Scriptures, but the characteristics of commitment are similar to those of covenant that is evidenced throughout the Scriptures. The Hebrew transliteration for the word “covenant” is berit, which refers to agreements or pledges between men or a covenant between God and men. The term covenant generally implies “the idea of a solemn commitment, guaranteeing promises or obligations undertaken by one or both covenanting parties.” Grudem (2000) defined covenant as “an unchangeable, divinely imposed legal agreement between God and man that stipulates the conditions of their relationship.” The essential element at the heart of the covenant is the unchangeable promise.  

Genesis 2:18-25 provides important teaching about marriage in all of the Bible. The passage about Adam and Eve portrays marital commitment in these words: “a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh” (Gen 2:24). “They shall become one flesh” refers to the sexual act as the consequence of their bonding, which unites husband and wife in one new person. The Hebrew transliteration for “be joined” used in this verse is dabaq, which means “to adhere,” “to cling,” or “to stick.” The Hebrew word dabaq is commonly used to describe covenant relationships in the Bible. One of the examples of a covenant relationship in the Bible is Ruth’s commitment to Naomi. When Naomi allowed Ruth to return to the place where she was staying, she clung (dabaq) to her. Ruth’s statement revealed the nature and depth of commitment. “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God” (Ruth 1:16). 

Conclusion 

Marriage continues to be considered an important social institution in which individuals secure a loving, committed relationship with their partner. Americans have become less likely to marry, while unmarried cohabitation has rapidly increased. The divorce rate of those who marry more than once rises. Lack of commitment was one of the most important contributors that affected divorce. As this research shows, commitment appears to be a vitally important variable in influencing marriage stability. Commitment is as a critical aspect in enabling married individuals to persevere in marriage. The Bible also shows that commitment is a primary motive for God’s covenant love for people and a long-term marriage relationship. 

References 

Adams, J. M., & Jones, W. H. (1997). The conceptualization of marital commitment: An Integrative Analysis. Journal of Personality & Social Psychology, 72, 1177-1196.  

Cate, R. M., Levin, L. A., & Richmond, L. S. (2002). Premarital relationship stability: A review of recent research. Journal of Social & Personal Relationships, 19, 261-284.  

Grudem, W. A. (2000). Systematic theology: an introduction to biblical doctrine. Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan. 

U.S. Census Bureau, (2014). America’s families and living arrangements. Retrieved from:  https://www.census.gov/data/tables/2014/demo/families/cps-2014.html 

Whitton, S. W., Stanley, S. M., Markman, H. J., & Johnson, C. A. (2013). Attitudes toward divorce, commitment, and divorce proneness in first marriages and remarriages. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 75, 276-287.  

The person in the environment (PIE) theory, related to the ecological model is fundamental in social work generalist practice.  The theory poses that as social workers conceptualize their clients, they are not only to consider the individual level factors that may influence the client’s presenting problem- but to also assess if or how the client’s environment and their goodness of fit in the environment may be contributing to their presentation (Hepworth, Rooney, Rooney, & Strom, 2016; Schalock, & Jensen, 1986).   

In an oversimplified manner, goodness of fit can be defined as the degree to which the client experiences congruence in and with their environment and context (Hepworth, Rooney, Rooney, & Strom, 2016; Nye & Drasgow, 2011). Notably, goodness of fit may change based on the context.  That is, a client may have a higher degree of goodness of fit in one context versus another.  For example, a monolingual Spanish-speaking client may feel a stronger goodness of fit among a group of Spanish speakers compared to a group of English-only speakers- in which case, they would not understand the language.  

Let’s look at an example of applying the PIE theory and goodness of fit concept.  Let’s consider that a monolingual Spanish-speaking client who is unhoused is struggling with taking their medications as prescribed – as the medication is to be taken three times a day with meals.  Further, they are having a hard time communicating this problem to their provider due to language barriers and/or feelings of insecurity and unhelpful, inaccurate thoughts such as, “If I tell my doctor I am not taking my medication, they may get mad at me, and I may no longer be a candidate for the housing program”.  

According to the PIE theory, the social worker is to assess the individual’s fit in their environment – that is assess individual client factors that may be contributing to their lack of medication adherence and assess the client’s goodness of fit in their environment.  In doing so, the social worker is to assess multilevel factors related of the individual’s micro, mezzo and macro systems and consider perhaps the issue of having a language barrier in considering goodness of fit.  Further, the social worker can work to enhance the client’s capabilities and strengthen his goodness of fit by giving him a translation tool that he can take to his appointments- or the social worker may choose to adapt the client’s environment by helping the client change providers to a bilingual provider.  

It is my suggestion that as professors, perhaps we may consider these ideas towards supporting student academic success.  A few years ago I had an office hour appointment with a student who shared that they had recently moved (unwillingly- due to financial reasons) and were saddened that they no longer had access to a quiet, well lit, comfortable, and inviting place to study.  As I considered this I shared about the PIE theory and together we began brainstorming ways in which the student may improve her goodness of fit in her new environment.  It was not easy, to figure out other spaces she may be able to study in her new living quarters, but the student landed on the importance of changing her mindset and appraisal of the new living situation so that she would move towards acceptance and “making lemonade out of lemons”.   

The student ended up claiming the kitchen table as her new study area and had to have conversations with her family so that all would be respectful and supportive of her needs.  Perhaps this idea may not solve all our student’s struggles and challenges while in their academic journey, but maybe it is just one more tool that we together with our students can consider entertaining as a conceptual model towards problem-solving and student academic success. 

References

Hepworth, D. H., Rooney, R. H., Rooney, G. D., & Strom, K. (2016). Empowerment series:  

Direct social work practice: Theory and skills. Cengage Learning. 

Nye, C. D., & Drasgow, F. (2011). Assessing goodness of fit: Simple rules of thumb simply do  

not work. Organizational Research Methods, 14(3), 548-570. 

Schalock, R. L., & Jensen, C. M. (1986). Assessing the goodness-of-fit between persons and  

their environments. Journal of the Association for Persons with Severe Handicaps, 11(2), 103-109. 

This is Part 4 of a 4-part blog post. 

Read Part 1: Black History Month: A Call For Healing Conversations

Read Part 2: Healing Conversations on Race: The Role of Empathy in Building Christlike Racial Unity

Read Part 3: Healing Conversations on Race: Acceptance

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We sat around the dinner table on a typical weeknight; my husband, myself, my 10-year old daughter, and my 7-year old son. We were probably eating pizza or Chinese food (I can’t remember). As we watched the evening news a commercial came on advertising an upcoming documentary special celebrating Black History month. In just a few moments the trailer for the program highlighted slavery, the civil rights movement, and the Jim Crow era. My son turned to me and asked “Why do White people hate Black people?” Then my daughter chimed in “Yea, why do White people always try to kill Black people? Why are they so mean?”  I was frozen and didn’t know what to say. I planned on having a simple dinner not answering deep sociological questions from a 7- year old. This was a painful question to answer because, based on historical and current facts, I could see why they would conclude that White people must hate Black people. What other conclusion could they draw about slavery, segregation, or the murder of George Floyd? However, I didn’t want them to believe that ALL White people are hateful and violent towards Black people. I needed them to feel hopeful and believe that the “arch of the moral universe is long but it bends towards justice”. What my children were experiencing is what some scholars call intergenerational racial trauma. Although my children have not experienced racism directly, and live in a very racially diverse and loving environment, they still feel the sting of anti-black racism in society.  

As I sat at the table searching for a response to my children’s questions I thought quickly back to the book my colleagues and I wrote; Healing Conversations on Race. The chapter I spent the most time writing was about Love. In this chapter, we suggest to readers that the love of God and love of others is a commandment. Also, Christlike love should be demonstrated through actions that exemplify the nature of Christ. Further, we have both an individual and collective responsibility to demonstrate Christlike love in all our relationships. It is critical to recognize that Christlike love is incompatible with racial disunity and racism. As we move closer to consistently living a life that demonstrates Christlike love we should be compelled towards a pursuit of racial unity.  

So I said to my children “Do you think it’s true that ALL white people hate Black people?” “What about your best friends Jennifer and Conner?” “What about Aunt Alice?” “Do they hate you?” These were all people who are very close to our family and love them dearly. They also happen to be white. We started a conversation about what love looks like and how it’s impossible to hate someone and be violent toward them if you truly love them. We talked about the ways our white friends demonstrate their love towards us.  As we had this conversation, I could see their wheels spinning and see them begin to develop discrepancies between the hate they saw displayed in that commercial and the love they experience in their lives.  

The experience my children had was one I pray more Christians have. The Healing Conversations on Race book helps Christians have these kinds of conversations. In the book we teach that God hates sin, racism is a sin, so God hates racism. The book guides us to see how our life experiences, relationships, and internalized narratives have led us to have beliefs about folks who are racially different from us. Many times these beliefs are inaccurate and inconsistent with scripture. We suggest that love is not a cliché or ambiguous feeling and the Bible teaches us what it looks like to really love others. We suggest that love is displayed through Christlikeness, humility, and self-sacrifice. We teach that love is incompatible with racist thoughts, behaviors, policies, and societies and loving conversations can bring healing.  

My children are still young and will continue to wrestle with understanding race and racism. Our brief dinner conversation does not negate the reality of racialized hate in this country. However, I hope that our conversation helped them to think more deeply about their relationships and the ways they can engage with white people (and others who are racially different) in a way that draws them into loving, Christlike relationships. My hope for them, and for you, is that we can practice humility, empathy, acceptance, and love that drives out hate and racism and brings us closer to unity in Christ. This is very challenging work. However, it’s through intimate relationships with those who are racially different that we can have new experiences and rewrite narratives. It’s through these relationships that God will convict, and draw to repentance, those who harbor racial hatred or complicity towards racial injustice. Ultimately, I pray that through this approach we can HEAL our racial wounds and truly be the body of Christ that God desires us to be.  

Thank you for following this blog series and I invite you to take the next step. You can visit our website to learn more about the book and how to begin the HEAL journey. We believe that reading the book will give you the foundational knowledge and skills necessary to engage in a real conversation with a racially different brother/sister in Christ. We are confident that taking this important step will move you as an individual, and the Church as whole, closer to racial unity which is consistent with Christlikeness. Through this process, Christians stand to be a shining example of the transformational power of Christ by demonstrating a solution to the racial disunity and racism that plagues our society.

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This blog is the final of 4 in our Black History Month Blog Series for 2023. Check back each Wednesday of February for more on how to have healing conversations. CBU Students who comment on these blogs will have a chance to receive a copy of the book. Winners will be emailed in early March. Listen. Learn. Engage.

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References

This blog is the first of 4 in our Black History Month Blog Series for 2023. Check back each Wednesday of February for more on how to have healing conversations. CBU Students who comment on these blogs will have a chance to receive a copy of the book. Winners will be emailed in early March. Listen. Learn. Engage.

Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., “Remaining Awake Through a Great Revolution.” Speech given at the National Cathedral, March 31, 1968. https://kinginstitute.stanford.edu/king-papers/documents/remaining-awake-through-great-revolution-address-morehouse-college  

Wyatt, T. R., Taylor, T. R., White, D., & Rockich-Winston, N. (2021). “When No One Sees You as Black”: The Effect of Racial Violence on Black Trainees and Physicians. Academic medicine, 96(11S), S17-S22.  

www.healingconversationsonrace.com  

This is Part 3 of a 4-part blog post.   

Read Part 1: Black History Month: A Call For Healing Conversations

Read Part 2: Healing Conversations on Race: The Role of Empathy in Building Christlike Racial Unity

Read Part 4: Healing Conversations on Race: Love

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I remember standing in the check-out line at a Chevron station, staring at the candy shelf and wondering whether I should indulge in a pack of Whoppers. The man in line behind me slowly made his way next to me and smiled, saying, “Hey.” While I was preoccupied with the Whoppers, he moved a little closer and then asked a question that I always dreaded, “What are you?”

I didn’t know how I wanted to respond. I knew that he was asking about my race or ethnicity. As a biracial woman, I’d been asked the question many times in the past. But in this unexpected moment, my emotions took hold, and I felt many things at once. Initially, I was angry (I’d been minding my own business thinking about Whoppers) when the unwanted question was posed. I wanted to tell the man, “I’m a human.” As the line started to move, I chose, despite my anger, to say to him, “I’m mixed.” I then paid for my gas and left the Whoppers behind. Yet, even as I drove away from the Chevron, my pulse raced, and I felt flush, not knowing how best to respond to the many emotions I was experiencing.

Emotions can often feel unmanageable when we are in the heat of a sensitive moment like the one I described. This can be especially true when talking about race or race-related topics or when a person of color is faced with racism. So, what do we do with our feelings when we talk about these topics with others, especially when these conversations occur in the midst of our cross-racial relationships? According to the Healing Conversations on Race (HEAL) model (Vazquez et al., 2023), a key practice is the use of acceptance.

Acceptance (the A in the HEAL acronym) refers to the acceptance of emotions. Given that race-related topics can stir up strong emotions, finding ways to respond to these feelings in a helpful manner is important if we want to build and maintain cross-racial relationships. First, we need to differentiate between the two types of emotions we experience: primary emotions and secondary emotions.

Primary emotions are the initial, deeper, and more vulnerable emotions we often have when responding to topics of race and/or racism. These emotions might include fear, sadness, hurt, shame, or righteous anger. The good thing about primary emotions is that they remind us of our relational needs Greenberg & Paivio, 2003; Kobak et al., 2015). For example, sadness might remind us of a relational need for comfort from others, or fear might remind us of a relational need for others to help us feel safe. When we share our primary emotions and our needs in relationships with others, we connect with others on a deeper level than when we avoid these feelings and needs or attempt to ignore them altogether. In fact, this type of emotional sharing can even help heal old wounds created in cross-racial relationships (even if the person you share with did not create the wound; Makinen & Johnson, 2006).

On the other hand, secondary emotions mask or cover up our primary emotions and our relational needs. In conversations on race, secondary emotions might include frustration,

defensiveness, and unrighteous anger. Unfortunately, these are often the emotions we focus on when struggling to have conversations about race-related topics. Secondary emotions, though, create distance in relationships because they place a barrier between us and others by hiding our deeper, more vulnerable feelings and our relational needs.

As Christians, we believe that God created humans as emotional beings and that sharing emotions can bond us together in our relationships with others (Howard, 2018). Given that primary emotions provide signals for our needs within relationships, we believe that becoming aware of and accepting of your own, and others, primary emotions is a key practice in having conversations on race. As a strategy for doing this, we suggest practicing acceptance.

Acceptance can be described as an emotion regulation skill or coping skill. It is a means of tolerating your unpleasant thoughts and primary emotions rather than attempting to escape them or cover them up with secondary emotions. It includes non-judgmental observation of your own emotions and offering yourself compassion while you stay fully emotionally engaged with others (Knabb, Vazquez, et al., 2019; Knabb et al., 2021). For Christians, this includes inviting God into your emotional experience, asking for his presence, love, and active care in the midst of recognizing and responding to your primary emotions. You can do this by cultivating attention toward your emotions (concentrating on one emotion at a time), present-focus (focusing on the here-and-now rather than jumping to the future or the past in your mind), and awareness (recognizing/naming your thoughts and feelings with non-judgment) (Feldman et al., 2007; Knabb et al., 2019, 2021).

Returning to the story of my interaction at the Chevron station, what might have been different had I known then what I know now about acceptance? I might have slowed down my whirlwind of internal thoughts with present-focus and attempted to recognize and name my primary and secondary emotions without judging myself in the process. I might have noticed not only anger but also sadness and loss at, once again, feeling misunderstood and different from others. I then could have taken a moment to become aware of those feelings and invite God to be with me as I better sought to understand my relational need at that moment – to be accepted and understood. I could then have sought ways to reach out to others in my cross-racial community to ask for that relational need to be met.

To put acceptance into practice in your cross-racial relationships, here are a few questions to ask yourself during conversations about race-related topics:

• What are my current primary or secondary emotions?

• What are my emotions telling me about my current relational needs?

• What steps am I taking to actively engage in “acceptance” of my own and others’ emotions?

As you think about today’s blog post, I encourage you to share your thoughts about the following question:

· How might you have benefited in some of your prior conversations on race by practicing acceptance?

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This blog is the third of 4 in our Black History Month Blog Series for 2023. Check back each Wednesday of February for more on how to have healing conversations. CBU Students who comment on these blogs will have a chance to receive a copy of the book. Winners will be emailed in early March. Listen. Learn. Engage.

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References

Feldman, G., Hayes, A., Kumar, S., Greeson, J., & Laurenceau, J. (2007). Mindfulness and emotion regulation: The development and initial validation of the Cognitive and Affective Mindfulness Scale-Revised (CAMS-R). Journal of Psychopathology and Behavioral Assessment, 29, 177–190. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10862-006-9035-8

Howard, E. (2018). A guide to Christian spiritual formation: How Scripture, spirit, community, and mission shape our souls. Baker Academic. https://www.amazon.com/Guide-Christian-Spiritual-Formation-Scripture/dp/0801097800

Knabb, J., Vazquez, V., & Pate, R. (2019). “Set your minds on things above”: Shifting from trauma-based ruminations to ruminating on God. Mental Health, Religion & Culture, 22(4), 384-399. https://doi.org/10.1080/13674676.2019.1612336

Knabb, J. J., Vazquez, V. E., Pate, R. A., Garzon, F. L., Wang, K. T., Edison-Riley, D., Slick, A. R., Smith, R. R., & Weber, S. E. (2021a). Christian meditation for trauma-based rumination: A two-part study examining the effects of an internet-based 4-week program. Spirituality in Clinical Practice, 9(4), 253-271. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/scp0000255

Makinen, J. A., & Johnson, S. M. (2006). Resolving attachment injuries in couples using emotionally focused therapy: Steps toward forgiveness and reconciliation. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 74(6), 1055–1064. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.74.6.1055

Vazquez, V., Knabb, J. J., Lee-Johnson, C., & Hays, K. (2023). Healing conversations on race: Four key practices from scripture and psychology. IVP Academic. https://www.amazon.com/Healing-Conversations-Race-Practices-Psychology/dp/1514003929/

This is Part 2 of a 4-part blog post.  Read Part 1 here, Part 3 here, and Part 4 here.

Read Part 1: Black History Month: A Call For Healing Conversations

Introduction 

In Healing Conversations on Race: Four Key Practices from Scripture and Psychology (Vazquez et al., 2023), four racially-diverse authors with advanced training in the behavioral sciences present four key steps for Christians to cultivate and maintain racial unity within the Body of Christ. Drawing upon the Bible as the beginning and ending point, then supplementing Scripture with insights gained from the psychological sciences, we advocate for humility, empathy, acceptance, and love to promote relational healing among racially-different Christians. 

In the book—which was written for Christians who are committed to following Christ and want to improve their ability to engage in, and deepen, conversations on race and racism—we offer four key steps that we believe can make a salient difference in Christian communities, including (a) maintaining an attitude of humility when having difficult conversations on the sensitive, and often painful, topic of race, (b) using empathy as a way to understand others’ unique race-related thoughts, feelings, behaviors, memories, experiences, narratives/stories, needs, and so forth, (c) effectively moving toward the acceptance of one’s own and others’ emotions, experiences, and needs, and (d) displaying Christlike love in being behaviorally responsive to others’ emotional pain and needs. Although these four steps are explored in much more detail in the book, I would like to devote this short blog to presenting the second key step—empathy. 

Therefore, in this second in a series of four blog posts to dually present the four steps of the book and celebrate Black History Month, my goal, as one of the contributing authors, is to advocate for the foundational role of empathy in having healing conversations on race. In other words, I, along with my three co-authors—Drs. Veola Vazquez, Charles Lee-Johnson, and Krystal Hays—suggest that moving from disunity to unity within diverse, yet tragically segregated, Christian communities requires a deeper understanding of the emotions and needs of others. To start, I would like to define empathy, including its ingredients, then place it in the context of a healing conversation on race. My hope in this short blog is to point readers to the book, which includes much more thorough explanations, steps, activities, exercises, and examples of how to have healing conversations on race within diverse Christian communities. 

Empathy Defined 

According to the APA Dictionary of Psychology (n.d.), empathy is “understanding a person from his or her frame of reference rather than one’s own, or vicariously experiencing that person’s feelings, perceptions, and thoughts.” So, in essence, empathy involves trying to make sense of someone else’s story, from the inside-out and a place of compassion, including the various thoughts, feelings, and experiences that collectively capture the powerful narrative of another’s life. This ability seems to be uniquely human, with human beings having the God-given skillset of trying to understand the inner world, not just the outer behavior, of others. 

Of course, for Christians, we have the grand story of the Bible, or God’s special revelation, as a starting point, which includes four overarching themes that span the Old to New Testaments—creation, fall, redemption, and restoration. In other words, God created humankind in his image. Yet, Adam and Eve turned from God and, consequently, were banished from the Bible, Because of the fall, humans now experience all sorts of suffering, including the sin of racism and racial disunity, even in Christian communities. Still, God has offered humans a redemptive plan, based on the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ. So, for Christ followers who have put their faith in Jesus Christ, a restored relationship with God is possible as Christians faithfully wait for God’s eventual restoration of all things, and Christians are to emulate Christ in building and maintaining Christlike unity, regardless of race, within Christ’s Body. 

With Scripture as a trustworthy guide, racially-different Christians have a shared story in which we are all embedded—God’s story—which means we have a firm foundation upon which to build and maintain racial unity. However, each Christian also has a unique story to tell, and Christians of color often face, on a regular basis, the enduring effects of the sin of racism. As a result, empathy can allow racially-different Christians to learn more about, and respond to, each unique race-related narrative that has developed over time in a fallen, broken world. 

In the context of healing conversations on race, compassionately trying to understand the other person’s story, made up of a unique amalgam of thoughts, feelings, perspectives, and experiences, is key, especially their deeper, more vulnerable emotions and corresponding relational needs. Put more succinctly, feelings are signals that reveal what we need from those around us. Sadness, for instance, may convey loss and the need to be comforted by another during moments of grief and mourning, whereas fear can communicate present-moment danger and the need to be protected by someone else. Anger, as another example, can reveal themes of unfairness, unmet expectations, or injustice, with the need to create distance or attain a sense of control in relationships, and guilt can let us know we have wronged someone else and need to take steps to repent of the wrongdoing. 

To offer a quick race-related example, if a Christian of color is expressing the pain of racism to a White Christian, the White brother or sister in Christ can compassionately listen to their story, especially the deeper, more vulnerable emotion (possibly sadness, fear, anger, hurt, shame, and so forth), along with the corresponding interpersonal need (e.g., validation, affirmation, support, responsiveness). To do so, a few important questions can be asked. 

Empathy Applied 

To make an intentional effort to empathize with another person when engaged in a conversation on race, asking a few key questions can be helpful: (a) What is this person feeling right now, and how can I communicate I’m understanding the feeling? and (b) What does this person need from me right now, and how can I meet the need?  

For instance, in returning to the previous example, if a Christian of color is expressing the pain of racism, the White brother or sister in Christ can try to identify the feeling in the moment, then convey they are attempting to understand with a few key phrases, such as “That sounds so painful,” “I can’t even begin to understand the hurt you must feel,” “That seems like such a scary experience,” or “That must have been such a huge loss.” 

From there, the White Christian can begin to compassionately pinpoint the need that the Christian of color has in the moment, such as being affirmed and validated (e.g., “You have every reason to feel hurt”) or supported (e.g., “I want you to know I stand with you right now”). Or, if the White Christian is unsure of how to respond, they can ask a few simple, direct questions, such as “What can I do right now to support you? “How can I help?” or “What do you need from me right now?” Ultimately, the uniquely human ability to empathize involves striving, albeit imperfectly, to better understand the emotional world, and corresponding relational need, of the other person, placed against the backdrop of personal and scriptural narratives. For brothers and sisters in Christ, we are one Body, which means we are called to respond to each’s needs in a fallen, broken world, emulating Jesus Christ in all we do. 

Conclusion 

To summarize, in Healing Conversations on Race, empathy is the second of four major steps. Placed in the context of the four others, we first commit to displaying humility as we enter into, and continue on with, healing conversations on race. In doing so, we also empathize with the other person’s story, which includes their spectrum of inner and outer experiences. From there, we accept our own, and other person’s, emotions, given they are signals that can convey vital information about relational needs. Finally, we display Christlike love by behaviorally responding to the other person’s emotions and needs, then commit to continuing to respond to our racially-different brothers and sisters in Christ in order to glorify God in all we do. 

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This blog is the second of 4 in our Black History Month Blog Series for 2023. Check back each Wednesday of February for more on how to have healing conversations. CBU Students who comment on these blogs will have a chance to receive a copy of the book. Winners will be emailed in early March. Listen. Learn. Engage.

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References 

Vazquez, V., Knabb, J., Lee-Johnson, C., & Hays, K. (2023). Healing conversations on race: Four  

key practices from Scripture and psychology. InterVarsity Press. 

APA Dictionary of Psychology. (n.d.). Empathy. https://dictionary.apa.org/empathy  

This is Part 1 of a 4-part blog series.  Read Part 2 here , Part 3 here and Part 4 here.

In 1926, Carter G. Woodson, known as the “Father of Black History”, launched “Negro History Week” to be observed annually every February in honor of the birthdays of Abraham Lincoln (February 12, 1809), and Frederick Douglass (estimated to be February 14, 1818, due to no official recordings of slave births).  Carter G. Woodson stated, “If a race has no history, if it has no worthwhile tradition, it becomes a negligible factor in the thought of the world, and in it stands in danger of being exterminated”.  Negro History week, which later became Black History Month, was created by Woodson to encourage knowledge and interest in Black achievements and adversities while moving America to not simply focus on “Negro History, but on the Negro in History”.  Woodson believed that appreciation of Black History would not only lift the confidence and esteem of African Americans, but enable African Americans to confidently, courageously, and comfortably engage in healthy conversations with White Americans, and other races, as equals in the advancement of humanity. In essence, the spirit of Black History Month is to enable all people to engage in healing conversations on race, that propel us towards a higher love and harmony amongst one another.   

In the aftermath of the murder of George Floyd on May 25, 2020, I and my colleagues were in a faculty meeting that was proceeding with business as usual.  I remember the meeting concluding as I thought to myself “Are my white Christian colleagues really not going to say anything about the fact that another unarmed black man has been killed at the hands of law enforcement on video?” At the time, I had been working at CBU during the law enforcement murders of Greg Gunn, Philando Castille, Paul O’Neal, Terrence Crutcher, Jordan Edwards, Eurie Martin, Stephon Clark, Marcus David-Peters, Antwon Rose Jr., George Robinson, Botham Jean, Ronald Greene, Javier Ambler, Elijah McClain, Manuel Ellis, Breonna Taylor, Daniel Prude, and now George Floyd (we must say their names because their lives mattered), with these being the high profile cases that got news coverage, not including the 91 other documented murders of African Americans by law enforcement officers during this same period that received little to no attention.  Nothing that we were discussing in that meeting seemed as important to me than the reminder the entire country had just witnessed through the camera phone of 17-year-old Darnella Frazier, that Black Lives Don’t Matter, and that I, my children, my family, my friends, my neighbors, or my students could be next.  I, and my colleagues of color felt invisible in that meeting, unseen, unimportant, and insignificant, scarred by the silence of a Christian white majority that seemed to be disconnected from what we were all feeling on that day.  In an angry outburst and tears, I expressed my feelings at the close of the meeting, presenting a scathing rebuke of the all too familiar silence of white Christians on social issues impacting people of color.  I felt the words of Dr. King when he stated “There comes a time when silence is betrayal”; “He who accepts evil without protesting against it is really cooperating with it”; and “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends”. 

The hurt of that meeting led to some transformative hallway meetings in the James building of CBU, in which white and black colleagues engaged in healing conversations on race, which later led us to writing a book together, to help ourselves and others have cross-racial conversations that lead to healing, empathy, acceptance, and love, all in our collective pursuit of Christ and Christlikeness.  In the process of these conversations, I discovered that my assumptions about the reasons for my white colleagues’ silence were wrong, and they learned that as their friend, I needed their voice and presence when tragedy strikes our community.  The book that we have written as a result of these conversations is entitled: Healing Conversations on Race: Four Key Practices from Scripture and Psychology, is now available, and free copies of the book will be raffled to those who interact with our posts during Black History Month, in which I, and the three other authors of this amazing book, share thoughts, reflections, and suggestions based on the book, on how we can all have Healthy Conversations on Race.   

The book uses the H-E-A-L acronym as a model to guide conversations on race.  Each week during Black History Month, one of the letters of the acronym will be explained by one of the authors.  For our first week, we will focus on “H” which is short for Humility in our model.  I must confess, it was hard for me, as a black man, to begin any conversation with the suggestion that I needed to be more “humble” in a conversation on race.  The collective black response to intergenerational, systemic, and historical oppression has been the model of humility, as we have sought to ingratiate, integrate, and imagine a better America while facing injustice, water hoses, unjust laws, de jure and de facto segregation, police dogs, lynchings, murders, rape, imprisonment, voter suppression, redlining, gerrymandering, invisible ceilings, medical experimentation, media stereotyping, microassaults and microinsults, and much more.  Why should I, and those like me, be humble after enduring such domestic terrorism, provocation, and dehumanization?  In the search for an answer to this question, I discovered an important truth, that we must grapple with in order to proceed.  The call to have a healing conversation on race, cannot be motivated by the worthiness of the person with whom you will discourse, nor one’s personal feelings of being willing to engage.  The call to healing conversations is not one that is led by an individual, but rather led by God, who reminds us that we, people of all races, are made in the Imago Dei (Image of God), and it is His desire that we “lower ourselves” to one another, just as He lowered His Son into our world, for our individual and collective salvation.  If God could lower himself to be in skin, walk in the darkness of this world, be born into poverty, endure the nastiness of Roman oppression, be subject to wrongful imprisonment, police brutality, injustice in the court system, and ultimately murdered like George Floyd in the streets of Golgatha; who am I to say that I cannot embrace humility in conversations on race?  While cultural humility is the lifelong process of reflecting, acknowledging, and critiquing one’s personal biases, what we propose in our book is a Christ-centered humility, which transcends cultural humility, because it moves us away from the adoption of the thoughts and trends of modern culture, and instead advances us towards a focus on Christ, as the perfect measure for understanding how we should engage with one another.  In our gratitude for the grace extended to us from God, we humble ourselves before our brothers and sisters of different races, seeking to imitate our Savior, who came to heal the enmity between man and God; we humble ourselves to heal the racial tension that pervades our world.  We are guided by the words of 2 Chronicles 7:14 “If my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, and seek my face, and turn from their wicked ways; then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin, and will heal their land.”  We begin healing conversations with humility, understanding that when there has been a tear in a relationship, the most important thing is not to prove who’s right or wrong, but rather to move ourselves into a position where God can take control, and transform our opposition to another into an opportunity for us to grow closer together. 

This Black History Month, I encourage everyone to consider engaging in healing conversations, focusing first, on Christ-Centered humility, responding not as the culture dictates, but rather adopting a Christlikeness, in which we lower ourselves so that God can initiate the healing process between us.  In your celebration of Black History Month, in what ways can you adopt a Christ-centered humility to move you to be a better listener, encourager, supporter, and ally of someone of a different race? Your reflection on this question places a smile on the face of Carter G. Woodson and transforms Black History month from being a moment, into becoming a movement.  Join us in the movement of promoting healing conversations on race.

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This blog is the first of 4 in our Black History Month Blog Series for 2023. Check back each Wednesday of February for more on how to have healing conversations. CBU Students who comment on these blogs will have a chance to receive a copy of the book. Winners will be emailed in early March. Listen. Learn. Engage.

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Read Part 2 here.

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References 

Goggin, Jacqueline (1997) Carter G. Woodson: A Life in Black History.  LSU Press 

Vazquez, V., Knabb, J., Lee-Johnson, C., & Hays, K. (2023). Healing conversations on race: Four key practices from Scripture and psychology. InterVarsity Press. 

Do you know what your purpose in life is? If not, don’t worry – you’re not alone. A lot of people don’t know what their life’s mission is. But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible to find out. This blog post will discuss how to discover your purpose in life and start living a more fulfilling existence. So, if you’re ready to find out what makes you truly happy, keep reading! 

In the book, The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho tells the story of a shepherd boy named Santiago who yearns to travel in search of a worldly treasure as extravagant as any ever found. Although he knows that such a quest may mean leaving the love of his life behind, Santiago feels drawn to follow his “Personal Legend” despite the challenges and sacrifices it will undoubtedly entail. As the boy begins his journey, he meets an array of characters—some of whom teach him valuable lessons, while others attempt to dissuade him from continuing on his quest. Ultimately, Santiago succeeds in finding his treasure and true purpose in life. 

The story of Santiago reminds us that the journey to discovering our purpose is often fraught with difficulty and heartache. Nevertheless, those brave enough to embark on this journey are invariably rewarded with a great treasure: the knowledge that they are living their lives according to their deepest desires and highest aspirations. 

Finding Your Purpose 

Although the concept of “purpose” is often spoken about in spiritual or religious contexts, it’s important to remember that everyone has a unique sense of purpose—regardless of whether or not they subscribe to any particular faith tradition. In fact, some of the most successful and fulfilled people have taken the time to reflect on what brings them meaning and satisfaction and have made a conscious decision to align their lives with those things. 

Of course, this is easier said than done. It can be difficult to identify our deepest desires, let alone figure out how to turn them into reality. If you’re having trouble getting started, here are a few questions you can ask yourself: 

– What makes me feel most alive?  

– What am I most passionate about?  

– What am I really good at?  

– What do I deeply care about?  

– What contribution do I want to make in the world?  

– Whose life do I want to touch in a positive way?  

– How do I want to be remembered when I’m gone?  

Answering these questions isn’t easy, but it’s worth taking the time to do so. Once you’ve identified your purpose, you can begin making small changes that will help you move closer to living it out daily. And while there will inevitably be challenges and setbacks along the way, remember that every step forward is a step in the right direction.  

Conclusion:  

The journey toward discovering your purpose can be challenging but ultimately rewarding.  

By connecting with what brings you fulfillment and satisfaction, you can begin making small changes to help you live out your purpose daily. Remember, every journey begins with a single step. 

Coelho, P. (1995). The alchemist. Thorsons. 

When it comes to understanding and preventing suicide, there are a lot of myths floating around. As we go into the holidays, for example, you may hear that suicides are more common around this time (CDC data say that is not true). This kind of misinformation makes it even harder to talk about a question that is already complicated by the fact that the risks and causes of suicide are not the same across all people and groups. In my work, I’ve dedicated time to understanding the risks of maternal suicide so that I can work within local and national communities to be part of the prevention solutions.

Maternal Suicide Awareness Month is observed every September in the United States. The purpose of the month is to bring awareness to the problem of suicide among mothers and to provide resources for those who may be at risk. While it is widely accepted that motherhood can be a joyful and rewarding experience, it is also often stressful and overwhelming. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, up to 20%, that is an estimated 1 in 5 women will experience symptoms of mental illness during pregnancy or in the first year after childbirth. And tragically, suicide is one of the leading causes of death for pregnant women and new mothers. Every year, approximately 700 mothers die by suicide. This represents a significant increase from previous years, and the trend appears to be rising. And while maternal suicide rates are highest among Black women, it’s a problem that impacts women of all races.  

In the United States, suicide rates among new and expectant mothers have been increasing for years. Maternal suicide is now the leading cause of death for women during the perinatal period—the time from pregnancy through the first year postpartum. A variety of factors can contribute to maternal mental health problems, including postpartum depression, anxiety, and stress. Addressing these issues is critical, as they can often be the first step in preventing suicide.  

Poor postpartum mental health can put women at greater risk, as can experiencing psychosis during pregnancy or postpartum. But one of the most important risk factors is simply being a woman of color. Black women are four times more likely to die by suicide than white women. Studies have shown that Black women are more likely to experience poor mental health after giving birth, due in part to systemic racism and social inequities.  

While women of all ages and backgrounds can experience postpartum depression, certain groups are more vulnerable. Pregnancy and the postpartum period are times of great physical and emotional transition, and for some women, these changes can lead to serious mental health problems. Maternal mental health disorders can range from mild to severe, and can profoundly impact a woman’s ability to function in her everyday life. Left untreated, maternal mental health disorders can lead to suicidal thoughts and behaviors. For example, women who have a history of depression or anxiety, who experienced a traumatic birth, or who lack social support are more likely to develop postpartum depression. In some cases, postpartum depression can lead to psychosis—a break from reality that can include hallucinations, delusions, and paranoia.  

There is no one-size-fits-all solution to preventing maternal suicide, but there are steps we can all take to support mothers in our community. Maternal suicide is a tragedy that can be prevented with awareness, education, and support. Maternal Suicide Awareness Month is an important time to start these conversations and begin working towards solutions. We need to break the silence around this issue and start talking about the ways we can support new moms. By raising awareness and providing support, we can help save lives.  

If you are a mother struggling with mental health issues, please know that you’re not alone and there is help available. Reach out to a therapist, counselor, or support group today. Together, we can make sure that no mother has to suffer in silence. If you know a mother who may be at risk, please reach out and offer your support. And if you are interested in getting involved in Maternal Suicide Awareness Month, please visit Moms Demand Action or Maternal Mental Health NOW to learn more about how you can help make a difference. 

By E. Russ Bermejo, MSW, Lecturer 

This is Part 3 of a 4-part blog post.   

Read Part 1: An Invitation to CBU Faculty and Students

Read Part 2: Designed for Courage: Me & Myself

Read Part 3: Designed for Co-Creation: Teacher and Student

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The Third Relationship: Researcher and Participants 

So how can we be more connected in our research?    

Freire’s critical examination of the student-professor relationship in the classroom would extend to how research agendas are set by universities. When asked to describe how Freire’s work could impact research, Valerie Kinloch of the University of Pittsburgh stated the following:  

“(Freire) encourages us to take a critical perspective, especially when collaborating with other people in community contexts, as we attempt to address pervasive questions about inequality. He also situates research within the reach of the everyday – the everyday realities, lives, lived conditions, struggles, and hope of people – to make research accessible to who we are working with and writing with/about in our research. Thus, research is not singularly about publishing articles and books, but about writing new ways of being into existence that can, fundamentally, change the world for the better.”

If universities are to be organized to address the most pressing social, economic, and political inequities,⁵ it would take direction for its research agenda from the needs identified by marginalized and oppressed communities.   

Freire’s critical pedagogy was influential in developing participatory research models such as participatory action research (PAR). Relationships and power are examined once again, this time in the context of research. Freire’s concept of praxis, (that knowledge is developed through a cycle of action and reflection) is essential to PAR’s methodological approach that engages researchers and community members in dialogue (Hardina, 2012).  

Participatory approaches to doing research have gained critical attention across the behavioral and social sciences, as scholars, activists, and practitioners committed to social action work closely with communities to identify their concerns and develop plans for transformative change (Torre and Fox, 2015).  It is research that translates knowledge into action.   

The values orientation of participatory research, such as PAR and community-based participatory research, challenges the hierarchical and extractive approaches of traditional research through its core beliefs that:  

• Knowledge is not a product of academia, but a result of engagement with the community⁶ 
• Community participation is critical in every phase of the research process.⁷  
• Decision-making should be done by those most affected by the outcomes of the decision. 
• Development of structures, processes and social networks within the community to meet their own needs empowers members towards self-determination and exercising power over their own lives. 
• Building and maintaining mutually beneficial relationships between academia and community 

Our recurrent theme emerges once again:  An essential part of being fully human is exercising our God-given capacity to create, make, and build. We do this in partnership with our Creator and in collaboration with others. These creative and relational capacities are part of our imago dei DNA.   

Conclusion – An Insurrectional Faith 

It seems that pedagogy, scholarship, and research have an insurrectional quality and function. If that is true, then we must choose between courage or comfort.  As Christian scholars, we have (or should have) an insurrectional faith and worship a King that does not stay in ivory towers (see Philippians 2:6-7). How we teach and pursue knowledge are consequential and fundamental matters especially in our fragmented times. The great objective is that we can recapture what it means to be truly human – inextricably connected mutually interdependent, and creative beings. This is how we were designed. Once we realize this, we can know in our hearts that we truly belong to our Creator and one another so we can courageously get on with our three-point agenda spelled out in Micah 6:8 – “to act justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with our God.” 

Reflect and Discuss: 

1. What values orientation drives your research practices and approach? Are there any parts that you feel need to be re-examined?   

2. How insurrectional is your Christian faith? In what areas (especially teaching, scholarship, and service) do need to challenge the status quo or business as usual? What kind of relational and institutional supports could help you meet those challenges?   

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⁶ The relationship between the university research center and the community is re-examined by Jenny Onyxher in 2008 article entitled “University-Community Engagement: What does it mean?” published in the International Journal of Community Research and Engagement

⁷The slogan “Nothing about us without us” asserts that no policy should be created without the full and direct participation of those it affects. It was adopted by the disability rights movement in the 1990s as a call to action around the passage of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA).

References: 

Hardina, Donna (2012). Interpersonal Social Work Skills for Community Practice. First Edition.  Springer Publishing Company.  

Torre, Maria E. and Fox, Madeline (2015). Participatory Action Research in Social Research. International Encyclopedia of the Social & Behavioral Sciences. Second Edition.  

By E. Russ Bermejo, MSW, Lecturer 

This is Part 3 of a 4-part blog post.

Read Part 1: An Invitation to CBU Faculty and Students

Read Part 2: Designed for Courage: Me & Myself

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The Second Relationship: Teacher & Student  

Once we transform the relationship with ourselves, we can move towards transforming our classrooms and lecture halls.     

I am currently re-reading Paulo Freire’s Pedagogy of the Oppressed, a book I first encountered as an undergraduate sociology student at UCLA and frequently cited in numerous papers during my MSW graduate program. As a new educator, I am reading this book in renewed ways.   

In the Pedagogy of Oppressed, Freire takes a critical look at the “banking method concept” of education, which sees students as passive learners who are containers and receptacles to be filled by the teacher. It is perhaps one of the prime examples of human disconnection and it happens on some level every day in our (my) classrooms. Freire asserts that this type of education is dehumanizing since it sees students as merely in the world, not with the world or with others. Students are spectators, not recreators and are given no scope for creative freedom or critical thinking. In other words, this type of education shares an ideology of oppression.   

Freire proposes a problem-posing pedagogy which aims to raise critical consciousness. To liberate students into this critical consciousness, we must help them engage in active learning. Active learners take new information and apply it, rather than merely taking note of it. Firsthand use of new material develops personal ownership. When subject matter connects directly with students’ experiences and contexts, they care more about the material they are learning and will act on it. So as educators, we must work to stimulate critical thinking and awareness in our students so they can transform reality.   

Taking active learning seriously means re-thinking the traditional classroom and even turning it inside out or upside down. One pedological strategy that has drawn increasing attention in higher educational settings is “flipping” in which the classroom format is turned completely around.   In the flipped-classroom, the students view and listen to lectures on their own time freeing up class time for experiential exercises, group discussion and question and answer sessions. The classroom now becomes a space to work through problems, advance concepts and engage in collaborative learning, active interaction and dialogue. The professor serves as a mentor, coach, facilitator and tour guide of learning opportunities rather than just a lecturer or grader (Gerstein, 2012) 

Freire challenges us to re-examine the teacher-student relationship so both are simultaneously teachers and students. Essentially, we teach each other. This is only possible if I recognize that knowledge is inherently about power. But when teaching and learning is a mutual and relational endeavor, power is shared and relationships are restored. Co-creation replaces our need for control and reclaims our capacity for connectedness which good teaching depends on. It’s pretty awesome that we get to create environments in which students can be active creators of knowledge that can transform the world.⁴ 

Reflect and Discuss: 

1. What is your reaction to the idea that teaching as a mutual endeavor in which you and the students teach each other? Why is this paradigm shift particularly challenging for us in higher education?   

2. How are you nurturing critical thinking and awareness in your classroom and instruction? What changes do you need to make to ensure you are developing this essential skill for your students?   

Coming Next: Part 3: Designed for Action: Researcher and Participants 

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⁴ In the revised Blooms Taxonomy framework (2001), creating, designing, constructing, assembling, developing, formulating, authoring, is considered to be the highest level of thinking. See https://www.bloomstaxonomy.net/

References: 

Freire, Paulo (2018). The Pedagogy of the Oppressed: 50^th Anniversary Edition. 4^th Edition. Bloomsbury Academic.  

Gerstein, J. May 15, 2012.  Flipped Classroom: The Full Picture for Higher Education.  www.usergeneratededucation.wordpress.com