Why Does Commitment Matter in Marriage?
This is Part 1 of a 3-part blog post.
Marriage is the most stable social institution, with approximately 90 percent of adults choosing to marry. Despite high rates of divorce, people expect to marry since they want a deep, lasting, and loving relationship. A number of studies have shown the appeal and benefits of a healthy marriage. Compared to those who are in unhealthy marriages, those who are in healthy marriages are physically, emotionally, financially, and sexually healthier. Married couples, on average, create more economic assets and save and invest more for the future than do otherwise single or cohabitating couples. A healthy marriage not only provides greater life satisfaction and a sense of meaning but also reduces negative emotions such as loneliness, depression, and anxiety. Despite these benefits of marriage, marital cynicism abounds. Young married couples in their first marriage have about a 40 to 50 percent divorce rate. The divorce rate of those who marry more than once rises. These statistics revealed that the level of confidence in marriage has declined.
Why is a commitment in marriage important?
Relationship researchers have investigated protective factors and risk factors that affect marital outcomes, including marital satisfaction and marital stability. Among the factors that increase the likelihood of positive marital outcomes, marital commitment has been given a great deal of research attention. While the definition of commitment varies in the literature, the general consensus is that marital commitment requires partners’ intention to preserve their marriage regardless of their situations and feelings or evaluations of their marriage. Such intention stems from partners’ sense of loyalty, devotion, dedication, and sacrifice. Committed partners to each other make intentional efforts for their marriage even in times of conflict and stress.
Numerous studies revealed that lack of commitment was one of the most important contributors that affected divorce. On the other hand, partners’ high levels of marital commitment have been found to be associated with positive marital outcomes. Highly committed partners are more likely to express their affection, feel close to and interdependent with their partner, have the willingness to accommodate and sacrifice for their partner, and may be more forgiving in response to their partner’s betrayal and transgressions. Furthermore, partners in a highly committed marriage tend to have a strong sense of unity as a couple, share a long-term view of their marriage, prioritize their spouse and marriage over self-interest and are more willing to sacrifice self-interest to preserve their marriage.
Marital commitment is also an important contributor that increases marital stability, and partners’ lack of commitment is known to be a risk factor for marital dissolution. Highly committed partners expected their union to be life-long, so divorce was not considered even during difficult times. They tend to perceive their marital issues as “solvable” and demonstrate a willingness to work on those issues. Marital commitment is also important for the stability and longevity of remarriages. What makes remarriages likely to end in divorce may be a lack of commitment rather than marital conflict itself. Commitment appears to be a vitally important variable in influencing marriage stability.
What does the Bible say about commitment?
The term “commitment “ is little mentioned in the Scriptures, but the characteristics of commitment are similar to those of covenant that is evidenced throughout the Scriptures. The Hebrew transliteration for the word “covenant” is berit, which refers to agreements or pledges between men or a covenant between God and men. The term covenant generally implies “the idea of a solemn commitment, guaranteeing promises or obligations undertaken by one or both covenanting parties.” Grudem (2000) defined covenant as “an unchangeable, divinely imposed legal agreement between God and man that stipulates the conditions of their relationship.” The essential element at the heart of the covenant is the unchangeable promise.
Genesis 2:18-25 provides important teaching about marriage in all of the Bible. The passage about Adam and Eve portrays marital commitment in these words: “a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh” (Gen 2:24). “They shall become one flesh” refers to the sexual act as the consequence of their bonding, which unites husband and wife in one new person. The Hebrew transliteration for “be joined” used in this verse is dabaq, which means “to adhere,” “to cling,” or “to stick.” The Hebrew word dabaq is commonly used to describe covenant relationships in the Bible. One of the examples of a covenant relationship in the Bible is Ruth’s commitment to Naomi. When Naomi allowed Ruth to return to the place where she was staying, she clung (dabaq) to her. Ruth’s statement revealed the nature and depth of commitment. “Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God” (Ruth 1:16).
Conclusion
Marriage continues to be considered an important social institution in which individuals secure a loving, committed relationship with their partner. Americans have become less likely to marry, while unmarried cohabitation has rapidly increased. The divorce rate of those who marry more than once rises. Lack of commitment was one of the most important contributors that affected divorce. As this research shows, commitment appears to be a vitally important variable in influencing marriage stability. Commitment is as a critical aspect in enabling married individuals to persevere in marriage. The Bible also shows that commitment is a primary motive for God’s covenant love for people and a long-term marriage relationship.
References
Adams, J. M., & Jones, W. H. (1997). The conceptualization of marital commitment: An Integrative Analysis. Journal of Personality & Social Psychology, 72, 1177-1196.
Cate, R. M., Levin, L. A., & Richmond, L. S. (2002). Premarital relationship stability: A review of recent research. Journal of Social & Personal Relationships, 19, 261-284.
Grudem, W. A. (2000). Systematic theology: an introduction to biblical doctrine. Grand Rapids, Mich.: Zondervan.
U.S. Census Bureau, (2014). America’s families and living arrangements. Retrieved from: https://www.census.gov/data/tables/2014/demo/families/cps-2014.html
Whitton, S. W., Stanley, S. M., Markman, H. J., & Johnson, C. A. (2013). Attitudes toward divorce, commitment, and divorce proneness in first marriages and remarriages. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 75, 276-287.
24 Comments
I think that it is so interesting how commitment is such a key factor to having a healthy marriage because it is a topic that the world seems to belittle. Commitment often requires dying to yourself, which is very opposite from the world’s call to do whatever feels right for you. I also love how commitment is tied to the idea of God’s covenant for us in the Bible. God’s love is so sacrificial and I think that that is a huge aspect of commitment in a marriage, although we are so sinful and broken. I love this post!
Dr. Lee did a fantastic job of touching the surface of the important commitment that is marriage. It is essential when discussing marriage that we acknowledge the covenant it truly is, so I am pleased to have read the portion about marriage being a covenant. As for me and other Christians, we look to God’s covenants that He kept to showcase the faithfulness and truth of our Father’s actions, therefore the word covenant is big. In the same way, the term “covenant” in relation to marriage maintains the strength of the promise and commitment. Dr. Lee firmly explained the high level of commitment necessary for a good marriage, which relates to the firm covenant created when two become one.
This article was fascinating to read, but at the same time, not too surprising. Seeing how the divorce rate has increased over the year is insane. Commitment is huge in a relationship and especially a marriage. That is why I think cohabitation has increased because people are afraid of the commitment to be with one person for the rest of their life. As you get older, you also develop yourself and figure out who you are meant to be, as cliche as that sounds. When you are younger, your brain is developing until the age of 26, meaning if you marry young, a lot can change within those years which is why there is a higher divorce rate in younger marriages. I also like how a biblical interpretation is presented in this blog. God had the intention of placing Adam and Eve on this Earth for them to be one in Christ, through marriage. He implies the commitment that is supposed to be acknowledged by them and He says the two will become one flesh, meaning they are to be one together. As Christians, when we marry, we are not only making that commitment to our partner but to God as well. God talks a lot about divorce and how that is a sin. My hope and prayer is that people will stay in their marriages moving forward and more people will come to Christ to realize how important a commitment is in a marriage. I hope divorce rates go down in a realization that this is a commitment, or covenant to the other person that you choose to make.
This post was very interesting! When reading, I was curious to know if there was any statistics on unmarried couples and the commitment between them. Some people have long term relationships without being married and I was wondering if their commitment is just as strong as a married couple.
Hello Dr. Lee! I really enjoyed reading your article regarding commitment in marriage. The content in this post was very concise and well-explained. From reading your article, I have been reminded of the importance of commitment in relationships. It is not only essential to have in a relationship, but it is also a significant factor in preserving one’s relationship and covenant with another person.
Thank you Dr. Lee for discussing research on commitment in marriage. It seems to have become rare to find couples and friend’s parents who have not experienced a divorce. The evidence you draw from the Bible is impactful to learning about commitment as God talks about it in the beginning times during Genesis.
Blayne thank you for sharing your thoughts on the importance of commitment in marriage!
This blog post is very relevant to this modern generation. I personally feel like people have lost sight of marriage and rather cohabit with their partners. I think people find it easier to not commit because they can get out of their relationship whenever needed. However, this post reminds us of the benefits a healthy marriage brings to both partners’ life.
While I have always known that commitment was important for a relationship I never had a deep understanding of it. After reading this post I received a deeper understanding of how important commitment is. It was very informative that you not only added the definitions of marriage and commitment but also added some of the statistics for marriage today. I found it very insightful that you explained how and why marital commitment is important to a healthy marriage. I enjoyed that you added the Bible verse Genesis 2:24 because it is the best display in the Bible about how God intended marriage to be. Overall, I found your blog post to be very informative and insightful for me in my current life phase.
Hi Kierna! Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts. Marital commitment is such an important factor in healthy marriages.
I found this blog post to be extremely insightful. I am a young 22-year-old getting married this year, therefore this post was extremely relevant to my current season of life. I find it so discouraging that divorce rates are so exceedingly high and it breaks my heart because marriage is such a special and sacred gift from God. I completely understand and agree that commitment is a necessary component of a healthy and thriving marriage. I found it interesting that studies have found that couples who are extremely committed to each other are more willing to sacrifice for one another. But it was no surprise that couples who are not as committed have a higher divorce rate. Again, I really enjoyed reading this article and I loved seeing how critical the correlation is between commitment and marriage stability. This article also demonstrates God’s commitment to us and how valuable that is, because marriage directly reflects God’s relationship with the church.
Covenant is a commitment between the people and God. In my opinion, one of the reason why America couples also fails on marriage is because the lack of knowledge of the true meaning of being part of a covenant. Most people do not give themselves the opportunity to explore and define the true meaning of kindness and commitment with a partner.
Thank you for reading and engaging Isamar! It is definitely important to have a strong understanding of the meaning of covenant and how that applies to marriage!
Overall, I thought this blog was very insightful. It was very interesting to see that a healthy marriage can reduce negative emotions such as loneliness, depression, and anxiety. Yet, it was interesting to read that there was still a 40 to 50 percent divorce rate amongst young married couples. It makes me wonder why this statistic is so high. Based on this blog, one may assume that the reason this number is so high is because there was a lack of commitment. When those in a relationship are highly committed to one another, divorce may not even me mentioned. I have encountered many couples that choose to not have divorce as an option because having divorce as an options opens a door that should not be opened. In a sense that if divorce is mentioned, then it may be a “solution” to the fixable problem.
Brianna, thank you for sharing! Commitment is definitely a key part of marriage and is likely to foster healthy marriages that can reduce negative emotions!
Commitment is an incredible indicator in any aspect of life that requires hard work. Marriage is an area that requires an extraordinary amount of commitment because there is a connection that two people make. Today’s society makes it almost all too easy for people to up and leave something rather than to fight for something that you love. When taking marriage vows you make promises to take care of and love your spouse until the day you die. This form of commitment is becoming easier and easier for people to blow off that covenant. Different generations show this proclivity of separation differently, older generations are more likely to be seen together even if they have differences. But younger generations are more likely to separate because they are unhappy or unsatisfied. The trends that are shown through the data presented in this article are proof that rather than working out issues or spending the time to get to know their partner before marriage. All of these things are forms of commitment that will be put under stress during marriage.
Micah, thank you for sharing! Marriage is definitely hard work and commitment is needed to help counter negative emotions as well as provide strong support for challenges that may arise!
Dr. Lee
I really enjoyed reading your post on commitment in marriage. I believe that commitment is the most important thing when it comes to a relationship and most definitely when it comes to marriage. Commitment shows that you want to be with that person for the rest of your life and want to show them that you are willing to do that by proving it through your actions of being committed. You addressed so many good points that I learned throughout your post especially when talking about commitment through the Bible. I think this post can really benefit people especially us college students that are soon going to prepare for marriage.
Raegan thank you for sharing your thoughts on commitment in marriage!
Dr. Lee’s blog “Why Does Commitment Matter in Marriage” provided insightful and helpful information regarding the concept of marriage. Throughout the article, it was explained that marriage is a desire that numerous people end up obtaining. In other words, about ninety percent of individuals decide to marry (Lee, 2023). Not only do people choose and desire to marry, but two main themes stood out within this article about marriage. These themes revolved around the intentionality and commitment of the relationship in a marriage between two partners, and this post will respond to these themes.
Interestingly, this post explained how divorce rates are incredibly high for young couples due to the lack of commitment. In other words, those who marry young have higher chances of about 40 to 50 percent of divorce (Lee, 2023). However, it was eye-opening to see how different values of intention between couples create either a downfall or continue to uplift the relationship even through conflicts. Some of these values include a partner continuing to have qualities of trust and serving one another within the relationship. Furthermore, honesty, fidelity, and putting oneself before the other are crucial to keep a relationship intentional (Lee, 2023). When a couple performs these traits in marriage, it brings them closer together in different and positive ways. It was also fascinating to read how these values influence commitment in a relationship. When both individuals commit themselves to the other, it produces a positive atmosphere in the relationship concerning depending on and having a soft heart toward one another in all ways. The couple will have a sense of connectedness and have more forgiveness toward each other in all situations (Lee, 2023). Overall, Lee has brought much wisdom and knowledge about the seriousness of love and commitment between two people, which may open a variety of people’s eyes who read this blog.
Lee, Jong (2023, March 14). Why Does Commitment Matter in Marriage? Center for the Study of Human Behavior. https://blogs.calbaptist.edu/cshb/2023/03/14/why-does-commitment-matter-in-marriage/
Yes, it appears that commitment is essential to healthy marriage and that we are reminded of the value commitment in the Biblical storyline and scripture. Perhaps it is possible that with this current age in young society, changes to typical relationship and family dynamics have developed. These changes may stray away from God’s love and, correspondingly or resultantly, the value and energy placed in marital commitment.
Thank you for sharing Matthew!
I loved reading this blog post. I think it is very sad that commitment as a value has decreased in America and in young adults. It makes me wonder if young adults are not understand what it means to be joined together as one with your spouse. You are no longer your own person, you and your spouse are a UNIT and that idea is lost on many. I feel that the loss of commitment in marriage has also transpired in many other characteristics that younger generations hold, such as, career, education, aspiration, and more. Examples of failed marriages show younger generations that it is the norm and never learn how to break the trend. Commitment is the solution that needs to be ingrained in today’s youth.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts Rebecca! Commitment is such an important part of faith, friendships, and life long marriage! It is essential to foster the importance of this among youth like you mentioned!