Things Are Not Going According to (My Original) Plan: A Brief Reflection
Spring break. Graduation. A dinner and movie out with friends. You had all the plans. I had all the plans. And then, in what seemed like a totally surreal 48 hours around March 12, we didn’t. If your experience was anything like mine, you spent a few days in something akin to a fog of “what is happening?!” I noticed it first when I went to Target with my kids to buy one of their friends a birthday present. There I was, somehow oblivious with some Frozen II trinkets, surrounded by anxious-looking people with carts full of dog food and poptarts, because all the bread, peanut butter, sanitizer, and (yes) toilet paper had already sold out. It felt like an alternative reality. In some ways, it still does.
There are many things to think about in the context of this worldwide pandemic. Below I want to direct you to some of the interesting, thought provoking, and useful reflections I have come across in the recent days. Although a health issue, this pandemic—and our reaction to it—reflects important psychological and a spiritual issues as well.
Things did not go as planned. At least, not our plans. In the coming days, as we spend more time by ourselves and in our thoughts, may we choose to not just spend more time on Netflix or scrolling mindlessly through Instagram. May we, instead, reflect and use this unexpected moment to learn and grow in the midst of whatever trials this moment brings us. May we take each day as it comes because now is a moment when it is abundantly clear that we should not worry about tomorrow because today has enough trouble of its own.
Below, I link to a few things that I have found interesting. Since everyone is talking and writing about COVID-19, I do not claim that this is an all-encompassing list or even the most essential list. Instead, I have listed a few of the ideas that I’ve been thinking about the most as, perhaps, these things may be useful for you.
In the comment section, please feel free to share your own thoughts, what you’ve been thinking about, and anything you have read or listened to that you have found particularly helpful, informative, or encouraging. Please be mindful of our CBU cultural standards in your comments.
1. Pandemics do not have to be times of increased productivity. The first weekend the recommendations for social distancing went in place, followed shortly by Governor Newsome’s “Shelter in Place” order for Californians, my email and social media feeds were swamped with all the ways I could use this “newfound time at home” to live my best life. Some of the tips, resources, and business opportunities were helpful; at the same time, many felt a bit predatory. The implicit message behind many of these emails and posts was that I wasn’t really spending my time well unless I exercised more, cooked new foods, and took on a new hobby, all while adjusting to the reality of working from home with a baby, a preschooler, and a school-aged child (all home, all the time). It wasn’t until I read the Christianity Today: Women newsletter penned by Kate Shellnutt (Editor of CT Women), that I had words to identify my emotional reactions. Psychology is clear that disruptions to routines or sudden changes in environment can, indeed, be useful in spurring behavior change, depending on how you approach the disruption. In that sense, yes, the restrictions on travel and socializing may be useful in addressing some bad habits and working to foster better ones. However, as Kate pointed out, it is dishonest to not address the incredible stress that this pandemic is causing. In these moments of stress and—for many—great suffering, there are surely opportunities to refocus on our priorities and prioritize our souls. This kind of intentional prioritization of what is truly important will not sweep aside the realities of the difficulties of the moment; it will, however, mean that the realities of this difficult moment will not make this moment all-consuming. As our movements and routines are necessarily more limited, I am mindful that the push to be productive—for the sake of productivity—misses the mark. As the author of this piece reflects on the push for productivity, “hustle culture never stops, quarantine or not.” Especially in these moments, I am mindful of the reality that hustle is not the defining feature of God’s call on my life.
2. Stop touching your face! We all touch our faces….all the time. It’s a really hard behavior to break, though a particularly good one to change if you want to help prevent the spread of illness to others (and yourself). This podcast highlights why and this article provides some tips on how to actually change this behavior. (One hint: don’t think about your behavior as preventing you from getting sick; rather, think about your moral responsibility to help others not get sick!)
3. In times of uncertainty: God is good. I have been thinking about how to talk about this for about 2 weeks. I am now at the point of finally getting words on computer, yet I fear I am still too close to my own thoughts to be able to eloquently push words together in a way that clearly communicates, encourages, and (if relevant) challenges. So, I’m not going to try to do those things. Instead, I would encourage you to think about 20 prayers to pray during this pandemic, one theologian’s reflections on how to think Christianly in this public health crisis, or how this cultural moment might offer some important long-term opportunities for communities of faith to partner with scientific communities in a way that may lay the groundwork for fixing the perception that Christians are anti-science.
Additionally, I find myself more frequently confronting my own selfish sinfulness as I am more easily agitated, frustrated, and prone to anger with disruptions to my routine and things not working out “as they should.” And yet, as I continue the devotions through Proverbs written by Timothy and Kathy Keller, I am continually reminded that these moments of stress and suffering are the ones that God uses to refine my character as God works everything for His good. In my weakness, God’s mercy and grace is all the more apparent, if I will only slow down enough to rest in His presence. Even when I can’t make sense of what is in front of me: God is good.
Dr. Erin Smith is an associate professor of psychology and the Director of Research at the Center for the Study of Human Behavior.
51 Comments
Wonderful article Erin! I really appreciate your thoughts and will take advantage of the links provided. Stay well.
Thank you so much! I am grateful you took the time to read and comment. Praying for blessings for you in these moments!
Awesome blog post. Thank you for sharing. I also felt the pressure to “do more” since I am working from home, and your post provided great guidance on how to balance my time. I appreciate you.
Thank you for taking the time to read and share; I am so grateful! May you be driven not to produce more, but instead may God produce His fruit in you (& me!) in the coming days and weeks.
Thank you for the wisdom and resources. I love the idea that hustle is not the defining feature of God’s call on our lives. There is definitely a pull to use this time to work harder and longer. It can be difficult to define the line between home life and work life, leaving little time for the spiritual life! Thank you for the great encouragement and helpful reminder to prioritize the spiritual life. As I do this, both my home life and work life will look more like what God has calle me to!
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts; it’s encouraging to me to know that I’m not alone in this!
Thank you so much for this! I am also working on staying positive and working on a positive and thankful mindset. I think people so easily get trapped in negative thought processes and I think this is the perfect time to practice mindfulness. We are all in this together. At the end of the day, God is good. Try working out your body, mind, and even take time to write down some trapped emotions. It’s okay to admit when something is hard. However, accept what you can not change and change what you can.
So true! Practicing mindfulness is good under normal circumstances….and especially now, as it is so easy to get trapped in negative thought cycles with all the uncertainty of this moment. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts!
Dr. Smith,
Thank you for being honest about how it may be easy to draw back to our sinful characteristic such as becoming easily frustrated. As much as I want to “hit pause” again on the world, I have personally been enjoying the quality time I have been experiencing with my family and the processes of reshaping my perception. I feel that I have been consciously choosing the keep Jesus on my mind to help ease stress, and want to keep this skill when the pandemic is over. Something that also has helped me is listening to podcasts from Elevation church, doing yoga and continuing to check in with my loved ones.
Lyndsey-it’s so encouraging to hear that you are using this time to center and focus on important relationships. What we do now will definitely shape what we look like on the other side of this pandemic and, like you, I hope to look a little more like Jesus by focusing on him now. Thanks so much for sharing!
Thank you for the insight, I really need to stop touching my face in these times. It felt refreshing to see from a new perspective because during these times I would feel the need to not be productive and to be more lazy since I am at home. Thank you for this wondering insight, I will surely share with my friends and family.
Thanks for your comment, Lawrence. Productivity and laziness are two sides of the same coin, I think, and sometimes both can be used to serve our sinful natures. It’s important that we don’t do just for the sake of doing, just like we don’t avoid to indulge laziness. There is a time for work and a time for rest. Done well, both honor God. (Also: don’t touch your face! 🙂
Enjoyed this post! Very cool to see a well-formatted blog post, as I am trying to work on creating my own. I definitely can agree that I have found myself filled with emotions, and quick to anger. I am constantly reminding myself to take a step back, breath and remember that God is at work in this situation. I have always turned to writing during dark situations, but as you said, I too find myself not being able to put words together on my paper. I have been praying for peace and understanding!
Thanks for your comment, Julia! There is so much evidence in psychology about the positive benefits of writing (did you know that in one study, people who journaled were less likely to get sick than those who didn’t? And that doesn’t even account for the mental health benefits!). Something about the cognitive processes involved in moving the implicit to explicit is so important for us. I think about this in the context of my groans, interpreted by the Holy Spirit (Romans 8:26-27). Praying you can find words–and comfort–in the midst of the stresses and uncertainties of this current moment.
Thank you for posting all this important information. If I am being completely honest I have been trying to stay away from the social media, the news, blogs and articles because I found that my anxiety and stress levels increase as I read more. But I have noticed that at the beginning of this pandemic that I was being very selfish because I was so worried about moving out and finding a place for my things that I was so oblivious to others who were fighting for there lives. I am grateful that as of right now my family and close friends are safe and well, but I do pray for others who aren’t as lucky right now. I hope that this blog helps others think more about this situation in a way that we can help; like it did for me. Thank you again.
Thanks for your comments, Tryniti! It’s so important to be mindful of what we consume. Yes, we want to be informed and connected….but surely this doesn’t mean we need to be consuming news and social media nonstop. (I would actually suggest this is not going to help you be informed or connected.) As I step away from these things, I am more aware of my own sinfulness, which, for me, is a starting point for God to address these issues in my heart. This also makes it easier to reflect on my life with some perspective–like what you say. Sure, things are difficult for me, but compared to what? I have so much to be thankful for. Even if it was all taken from me, like Job, I would still have so much to glorify God for.
I found this blog post extremely helpful especially given that we all have a lot of time on our hands we should remember to give priority to our spiritual life. Especially at a time like this we should count on God for grace and peace. There is a lot of negative stuff on social media so we should remember to step away from that and focus on something that brings us a peace of mind in the midst of this pandemic.
Hayden-yes! Thank you for reading and sharing. Praying that God’s mercies pour out new for you each day in a way that is refreshing for your soul.
This was so encouraging! Thank you for pointing back to Christ during these stressful times, especially when it’s so easy to revert to worrying about every little thing. I really liked how you brought up that we can use this time to rest in God’s presence, and that we don’t need to keep ourselves rushed with things to do. I really needed that reminder! Thank you for writing this!
Hi Michaela-thank you for taking the time to read and comment. So glad you found it a helpful reminder.
Dr. Smith,
This is really fantastic. It really does feel like a blur and/or as you say an alternate reality. I appreciate the caution on the need to be overly productive during this pandemic and the reminder that God is Good.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment. It’s so easy to get caught up in the flurry of the moment, missing the reality that underlies it all, all the time: God is good.
Your message behind this post is so relatable and inspiring. It is easy to feel guilty for not doing something productive when social media is telling you to invest your time in to so many different activities. I agree with you that taking time and being able to recenter and refocus yourself and prioritize your soul can in many ways be more important and beneficial than learning a new hobby. Having this extra time gives us more time to become in tune with ourselves, learn new things about ourselves, and reflect on our lives, and our spirituality can play a major part in self-reflecting. Thank you for shining light on these topics!
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts, MaKayla! It’s so easy to get caught up in what other people say we “ought” to do that we fail to keep in mind what God has called us to do. Praying you are able to grow closer to God in these moments!
Thank you for this! The changes surrounding this pandemic are indeed significant. I do admit it was difficult to face the postponement of graduation and any postgraduate celebrations. Luckily, my colleagues and professors have helped me view the changes as opportunities of growth. This reframe has been helpful in both my studies and personal life. As you stated each day has its own circumstances to face and one should not worry about tomorrow.
Hi Audriana-your perspective is not an easy one, but it is a healthy and wise one. Thank you for sharing….and we are all looking forward to celebrating you and your peers’ graduation as soon as we can do so in good health.
Thank you for taking the time to write this article! It is so crazy to see everything that has happened in the world with the pandemic going on. It is hard to know that our lives won’t be the same for a while and that all the fun plans we have made will have to wait for now. We just have to remember that God’s got this.Thanks for sharing this wisdom to all of us! Stay safe!
Thanks for taking the time to read and respond….you’re right: God’s got this!
I really enjoyed reading your post! I did notice too that it is easy to be caught up in the media and feeling like you need to be doing something productive every second. It can be easy to forget to give yourself a break to just breathe and it is important to spend some the time to get to know yourself and focus on your faith. Even with more free time being at home, I found even myself stressing to learn new things rather than prioritizing my soul. I feel like acknowledging that it a great step in the right direction. I’m glad you shared this advice to all of us!
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts, Lucy. I am glad you were encouraged by these reminders….I shared them because I knew how much I needed them!!
Great post! I really liked the section regarding productivity. I feel as though people were accustomed to a routine in which they had very little free time. Now, they have moved to a time of way too much free time and they feel like they have to fill the time. I think it’s good that we have this time to do nothing because we will better appreciate things we previously took for granted.
Thanks for your comments! I hope that you are finding the right balance between productivity and rest in this moment.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and reflections of our current reality. Your positivity, while not dismissing the struggle this time has proven to be, is very encouraging! One thing that came to my mind while reading was
something I’ve learned recently, “Live faithfully now”. Thank you for reminding me of this!
HI Ciara-thanks for your comment! I saw an instagram post the other day that contrasted our old calendar (M-T-W-Th-F-WEEKEND!) and our new calendar (yesterday-today-tomorrow) and it felt so true, but not necessarily in the fatalistic way implied by the image. We have today….we have this moment. This moment might not be what we want in many ways, but God has given it to us and we are called to be faithful in and with it. I fail at this so often…at which point God reminds me that His mercies are new everyday. Praise Jesus for that!
Thank you so much for this wonderful post! It is such a great feeling to know that we are not alone in this. The changes have been very difficult to adjust to, full of disappointment and confusion but through it all God is still good.
Hi Amanda-yes. I think that it is important not to underestimate the mourning that may be happening in this season. Literal mourning with the loss of human life and mourning over all the things that could have/should have/were planned to be. I think about weddings, funerals, graduation ceremonies, 5 year old birthday parties…even in the midst of this mourning and social isolation, we are definitely not alone (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).
Changing your perspective to thinking to be take sanitation steps (washing hands, touching face, ect.) is in order to protect others is a great way to think of it and I could see that it works! When I had the flu, I was washing my hands very often not for myself, but because I did not want to get my family sick.
With everything that has been going on, I too have been flooded with posts to be productive in this time. I agree that we should not be pressured to use every minute of our time. Moments of silence are a gift and not everyone has an abundance of time to spend. If I want to try something new, then I will because I want to and not because of social media pressuring me to do so.
Thank you for a wonderfully timed post, I will continue to pray for you and your family!
Thank you, Juleene, for this thoughtful comment and your prayers. I am encouraged by you taking the time to read and share!
What a great post! When the quarantine was first initiated, I didn’t have too many negative thoughts about it because I knew it was for the health and safety of our country.. as time went on I started to think about what I would be missing out on. Of course those thoughts still flood my mind here and there as the duration of quarantine continues to increase, but reading your post made me realize that it is important to let God do what he does best. It is important to take this time and make the most of it by focusing on self-love and improvements. We need to remember that God is good, and this will not last forever.
Haley-so true. I spend a lot of time thinking about all the mourning happening. Mourning for lost lives, but also mourning over lost plans. In these moments we are fully facing the fact that we often ignore: we lay our best plans, but we are not actually in control of many parts of how those plans go. There is lots of psychology happening here (maybe I’ll dive into that in a future post), and there is also lots of spiritual implications. Praying that today something proves to be a clear and decisive reminder for you that God is, indeed, good.
Good Afternoon!
I loved this post because it is so true. Everything really did change within the span of 48 hours and it was absolutely crazy. One second I was on a plane on the way home for spring break and the next second I was told I’d be stuck at home and not returning to school. While everything is crazy, the world seems to be going back together piece by piece, slowly but surely and I am definitely hopeful for that!
Jaidyn, yes! It was a crazy whirlwind in the beginning. Although things are not changing as fast now, there are new challenges that still seem to present. I rest in the knowledge that God’s grace is sufficient and that, in the end, He is good. The world reconstructed might not look the same, but if we are intentional, it can be a bit more holy in our priorities.
Dr. Smith,
I really enjoyed reading your post about your reflections and thoughts during this crisis. I related to your point on not having to be more productive during this pandemic. Before the orders to stay home, I would say that I lived a pretty productive day-to-day life which evolved around school and work. When the entire world was put on pause, I found myself thinking that I was lazy for not utilizing my free time to pick up a new skill or hobby. It became overwhelming because the normal life that I had lived every day had to be altered for mine and my family’s safety. Instead of overloading myself with things to do to fill in that free-time, I am able to reflect on my life and appreciate the little things that I once took for granted.
Hi Cynthia, I’m so glad you found that helpful. New hobbies are great….but stuffing any free time full really misses the point (that, and although things shut down, lots of obligations–like homework and research papers!–continued). I hope that you have been able to find rest amidst the chaos. Moreso, I hope that the chaos has started to look a bit more like intentional calm.
Awesome blog! It is pretty crazy to think that it has already been almost 2 months since the pandemic started. Like you said we have to keep our faith strong and remember that God is good all the time!
It has been the fastest slow 2 months….at least in my experience. Thanks for reading and for sharing your comments.
Thank you for your thought provoking post. I definitely relate to the pressure of having to increase productivity to take advantage of this time, and your post alleviated some of that stress. I also appreciate the encouragement of God working all things for good. It is often hard to see, especially when we are facing struggle, but the knowledge that He is good and works all things for His good brings me peace.
Thanks for your comments, Alyssa. It’s a strange pull in this season to be super productive or to be absolutely lazy. I think both are equally problematic and neither what God wants for our lives. I’m glad that reading this post has helped you identify some of that pull in your own life. I have found that words and labels can be very powerful indeed!
Thank you so much for posting and sharing your thoughts on this topic. I think this was a post that almost everyone can relate to during this time of uncertainty. It is good to always know that we are not the only ones. I know for myself I have struggled a lot during this time but it has only pushed me closer to God. I agree that God is good!
I was so interested in how people were reacting to this pandemic in the first few months and was searching for a while in order to find somebody that has been written about it.
Really thankful for this article and its insight on the beginning of changes that we didn’t realize back then, how long and enormous this topic will affect us. I think that a lot of readers can relate to this post and what you described your experiences and own thoughts while it all started.
Especially the part, when you talked about not overloading ourselves with things during this time, really spoke out to me. I fully agree with that and believe that this is also the time when we need to reflect and let God in control of it. This is bigger than us and He is guarding and guiding us through this journey. We need to let go of our own understanding and trust in Him and His mercy and grace fully.
Thanks, Alina! As we move closer to normal (whatever that looks like), it is my continued prayer that we don’t rush back to what was before…but that we mindfully and intentionally choose what is right. Maybe that’s doing less. Maybe more. Maybe something different. This has not been an easy year (and so many statistics support that statement!), but in our rush to reclaim so many things we’ve lost, I pray that we can maintain or reorient a focus to God and his calling for our lives and our time, for our benefit and the benefit of our neighbors we’ve been called to love.