Finding Joy and Peace at Christmas with an Eye Toward Eternity
“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:18, NIV)
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I love Christmas. I did not used to love it. As a mother and student or mother and career woman (depending on the phase of life I was in) I found the season demanding and stressful (did I mention I am also a career perfectionist; that alone is enough to ruin any good gathering). And then, of course, there is family. We all have one of those families.
The simple truth of the season is this: some of us spend the advent period leading up to the celebration of the birth of our redeemer as a Martha (rushing hither and to in a frantic effort to perform at some temporal standard for the holidays) and some of us can prepare for the holidays at the Savior’s feet, reflecting on the precious gift of all that is represented in the nativity (a Mary). But if we are honest, being a Martha comes a little more natural.
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If we focus our eyes on that which is seen, on the temporal, we inevitably forfeit our joy and peace during the demanding holiday season. It is too easy to get caught up in making a perfect holiday meal, finding the right gift, the right party outfit, or in outdoing last year’s holiday tradition. But what part of those experiences will matter in eternity… or in 100 years?
However, there are many wonderful moments this season that will matter in eternity. Those “unseen” things include the relationships we cultivate, or repair, the joyful memories we create with those we love, and the careful preparation of our hearts, our inner lives, toward the gratitude and contentment that produce both joy and peace.
As you prepare for this holiday season, may you be encouraged to keep your eyes focused on the unseen, on the eternal. In the meantime, here are some practical tips to maintaining your sanity this season:
1. Be realistic. Do not set unrealistic or perfectionist expectations for yourself or others with regards to holiday gatherings and gift giving. Give yourself permission to be human and to enjoy the beauty of imperfection.
2. Practice all things in moderation. This applies to spending, eating, as well as other holiday indulgences.
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3. Stay connected; this is the season to deepen relationships, build memories, or perhaps reconcile with someone with whom you have had some conflict or distance. Being connected to others, especially during this time of year, is imperative to reducing the experience of isolation and marginalization so many people seem to struggle with during the holidays.
4. Practice gratitude. This might be the single most important thing on this list. Pate wrote a wonderful blog last month on this very topic. Gratitude, as it turns out, is also very good for your body and brain. Gratitude activates the hypothalamus (the part of the brain that regulates sleep, appetite, body temperature, growth and metabolism) bringing the body’s systems into balance. But it also causes a release of dopamine (the feel-good neuro-transmitter) which not only makes us feel happier and more content and joyful, but also reduces pain (physical and emotional).
Finally, as you prepare for this holiday season, with an eye toward eternity, may you “rejoice always, pray without ceasing, and in everything give thanks” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18).
The Faculty of the CBSS wishes you a very Merry Christmas and a truly Happy New Year!
—
Angela Deulen, Ed.D.
Associate Professor of Psychology
7 Comments
Such a good reminder! Sometimes it’s hard to let go of the ideal of the perfect Christmas movie unfolding right in our own homes (!!), but there is so much freedom once we do. Especially freedom to allow God to reveal to us something that might not have been in that ever-so-perfect movie moment.
Thanks for sharing, Dr. Deulen!
Thank you for these great words as we end the semester! You’ve provided helpful tools to hold onto as the rush of the season begins.
I enjoyed this post very much. Sometimes once Christmas has passed, I am left unsatisfied because of the unrealistic expectations that I have set for the holiday. This served as a nice reminder to remember what the holiday is supposed to celebrate and how to enjoy it for what it truly is.
Cynthia,
Thank you so much for your comment. Just this morning I was thinking something very similar so I began to brainstorm ways I will be even more intentional next year about the things that really matter.
Thank you again for your thoughtful comment.
. I think this post stood out to me because there are stress times being a full-time student and being with family. I do not have kids of my own, but I have a cat that can be a handle at times. Trying to juggle school work, house work and making sure my cat is fed and is not getting sick can build up a lot of stress.
Although the blog is talking about Christmas, I felt that its practices can be useful for every day. The first tip is to be realist and to set realistic goals. I think this a good tip because often time I try to do too much in a day. This leads me to feel overwhelmed with stress and it causes me to not be able to concentrate on my work. Another tip is to stay connected with others, often times I notice myself cancelling plans or skipping school events. I think it is important for me to try and make time for my friends because my life should not revolve around my studies. I need to learn to have a balance.
The last tip is to practice gratitude. I agree with Angela Deulen, gratitude is good for our body and mind. I also thought it was interesting that she says that “Gratitude activates the hypothalamus and releases dopamine” which brings our body into balance and makes us happier. The blog was interesting because it talked about a lot of interesting things that I never thought about such as how gratitude is can do so much for us.
Hello Dr. Deulen!
Even when not in the hustle and bustle of a holiday season life can be stressful, and I thought this post was a great reminder that there are ways to slow down and enjoy life even not in stressful times of the holiday season because life can be stressful all year round. The practical tips served as a great reminder of how we can live life with Christ and live as an example of Him.
Thank you for sharing Clare! The holidays can certainly bring out stress but being mindful about practical tips and Christ can help diffuse this and bring about peace and clarity! -CSHB