Archives: relationships

This is Part 3 of a 3-part blog post.   

Read Part 1: Why Does Commitment Matter in Marriage?

Read Part 2: Personal Commitment in Marriage and a Personal Worldview

As I explained definitions of moral commitment in the previous blog, moral commitment in marriage refers to “the sense that one is morally obligated to continue a relationship.” Johnson (1999) has argued that moral commitment is affected by three components: a belief in the value of consistency in the marriage, values regarding the stability of a particular type of marriage, and the sense of obligation to one’s partner. Moral commitment provided a sound explanation of relationship stability. Researchers found that moral commitment has connections with relationship maintenance behaviors in a sample of married individuals. Ramirez (2008) reported that moral commitment is positively associated with relational maintenance behaviors as a means of maintaining marital relationships, including assurances of a marital future, including important friends and family, expressing attraction to the spouse, a positive approach to the relationship, and acceptance of household responsibilities. Ramirez explained that individuals’ relational maintenance behaviors increased their spouse’s sense of moral obligation because the spouses perceived the expressed relational maintenance behaviors as the desire to continue the relationship. Researchers also found that commitment to marriage was positively associated with moral standards, religiosity, and church attendance, while it was negatively associated with the number of times married. This result showed that this dimension of commitment reflected moral conduct and personal integrity based on a sense of right and wrong. 

Religion and spirituality are important parts of marriage, and they strengthen marital commitment. Several studies showed the existence of a relationship between spirituality/religion and the quality of marriage. Religious orientation provides the prime motivation for marital commitment. Religious devotion and spirituality reinforce the moral aspect of commitment by providing the value that is placed on the marital bond and spiritual support. Mahoney and others (2008) reviewed 94 studies on religiosity and marital functioning. Their review reported that greater individual religiousness is related to greater commitment to marriage.  

Including God in the marriage enhances married individuals’ belief that the institution of marriage should not be broken by divorce. Religious married individuals believe that since the husband and wife are united with God in a threefold cord, God is displeased with breaking this cord through a divorce. Accordingly, in order to avoid the displeasure of God, these married individuals are motivated to remain in the marriage. The belief that their partner would not consider divorce gives them a sense of peace and security and an increased desire to work through the problems in their marriage. Conversely, commitment to the institution of marriage works as a barrier to divorce, even when married individuals’ marital quality is not high. When the religious community in which married individuals are involved forbids or strongly discourages divorce, married individuals who seek a divorce feel concerned about disincentives from their religious community. 

Religiosity also provides a sacred calling and purpose for committing to marriage. The belief that God is included in marriage offers the perspective and sacred purpose needed to remain committed. In his sacred calling, a husband and wife find meaning in their commitment to marriage. Finding meaning in commitment to marriage as a sacred calling gives married individuals a desire for relationship permanence, which helps married individuals work through difficulties rather than an unpleasant obligation. Waite and Joyner (2001) argued that marital commitment was strongest when married individuals had a clear sense of the future together. Since religiosity provides married individuals with a sacred meaning for relationship permanence, they perceive increased benefits to staying together. 

Moral commitment in the Bible 

Marriage as a permanent covenant is not merely a human agreement between two consenting individuals but a sacred bond between a man and a woman entered before and under God as a witness. Malachi 2:14 describes the marriage agreement between the woman and her husband before God: “Because the LORD has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant.” The Hebrew word for “companion” is haberet, which refers to “friend, partner” or a closer relationship involving a covenant. Malachi spoke against Jewish men who were divorcing their wives for the purpose of entering advantageous marriages with pagan women who worshipped other gods. Malachi indicated that divorce was a violation of the marriage covenant because one’s wife was a spiritual companion who had come into association with a covenant. Since the Lord had acted as a witness to these marriage covenants, Jewish men’s behaviors were an affront to God. Accordingly, divorce is not part of the Creator’s perfect design. It is to be prohibited since it breaks a unique and holy union.  

In Matthew 19, Jesus cites Genesis as the foundation for understanding marriage. When the Pharisees questioned Jesus about divorce saying, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any reason at all?” Jesus replied to them by quoting from Genesis 2:24: “Have you not read that … a man … be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate” (Matt 19:4-6). In Moses’ day, permission for divorce was a temporary concession made due to the fallen nature of humanity. However, Jesus indicated that God’s original design for marriage was permanent and that the hardness of the heart itself should not be a legitimate excuse for divorce. Jesus’ teaching shows the truth that marriage is more than a contract for the convenience of the two parties. Since marriage is a unique and holy union, divorce is not in accord with the Creator’s perfect design. 

Consequently, the belief that God is part of their marriage as a third cord gives married individuals the strength to remain committed. It includes that God “brought them together,” and their wedding vow is a covenant with God. Since they perceive the relationship with God as the center of their marriage, commitment to marriage is an outcome of commitment to God. They are motivated to be committed to their marriage.  

References

Johnson, M. P., Caughlin, J. P., & Huston, T. L. (1999). The Tripartite nature of marital commitment: personal, moral, and structural reasons to stay married. Journal of Marriage & Family, 61(1), 160-177. 

Johnson, M. P., Caughlin, J. P., & Huston, T. L. (1999). The Tripartite nature of marital commitment: personal, moral, and structural reasons to stay married. Journal of Marriage & Family, 61(1), 160-177. 

Ramirez Jr, A. (2008). An examination of the tripartite approach to commitment: An Actor-Partner Interdependence Model Analysis of the effect of relational maintenance behavior. Journal of Social & Personal Relationships, 25(6), 943-965. 

Waite, L. J., & Joyner, K. (2001). Emotional Satisfaction and Physical Pleasure in Sexual Unions: Time Horizon, Sexual Behavior, and Sexual Exclusivity. Journal of Marriage & Family, 63(1), 247-264. 

This is Part 2 of a 3-part blog post.   

Read Part 1: Why Does Commitment Matter in Marriage?

Three Types of Commitment 

It is important to note that the reason partners commit to their marriage may vary. The “tripartite commitment” approach (Johnson, 1991; Johnson, Caughlin, & Huston, 1999) explains commitment as a multidimensional construct that consists of three types of commitment: personal commitment, moral commitment, and structural commitment. Personal commitment refers to “the extent to which one wants to stay in a relationship.” Personal commitment is affected by attraction to one’s partner, attraction to the relationship, and couple identity. Moral commitment refers to “the sense that one is morally obligated to continue a relationship.” Johnson (1999) has argued that moral commitment is affected by three components: a belief in the value of consistency in the marriage, values regarding the stability of a particular type of marriage, and the sense of obligation to one’s partner. Structural commitment refers to “the sense of constraint or that there are barriers to leaving a relationship.” Johnson has argued that this commitment is described in four components: alternatives, social pressure, termination procedures, and irretrievable investments. The first component, alternatives, involves a spouse’s decisions about relationship dissolution because of the availability of alternative circumstances such as economics, housing, and employment. The second component, social pressure, involves opinions or reactions from people who may or may not approve of relationship dissolution. The third component, termination procedures, involves the difficulty of procedures to end a marital relationship. The last component, irretrievable investments, involves feelings about having invested time and resources into a relationship if the relationship comes to an end.

The Importance of Personal Commitment

Married individuals consider commitment to their partners as an essential factor to their current marital satisfaction. Several studies found that individuals who are more committed to their partners have more tolerance and more realistic expectations, spend more time together, give more compliments to the spouse, and forgive their partners, compared to more weakly committed ones. Several studies found that married individuals who are highly committed to each other as persons were found to have significantly less difficulty in solving marital problems in all areas of marriage because commitment provided a foundation for healthy conflict resolution. Research has found that this type of commitment was also related to willingness to sacrifice, better communication, greater happiness, and an increase in accommodation toward partners.   

Clements and Swensen (2000) reported that personal commitment is the strongest and most consistent predictor of marital quality. Swensen and Trahaug found that married individuals whose commitment was primarily to each other as persons had fewer problems and more reciprocal love in marriage than couples whose commitment was mainly to the institution of marriage. 

Personal Commitment In the Bible

The concept of personal commitment is evidenced throughout Scripture. The Hebrew word hesed, which is a strong relational and covenant term, cannot be captured with one English word. Hesed can be translated as love, mercy, grace, faithfulness, loyalty, goodness, and benevolence that are all positive characteristics of God that are true of people. The quality of hesed is going beyond the obligations to duty to show exceptional faithfulness or kindness to those with whom one relates. Although people seek to fulfill their needs on their own behalf, true covenant faith is expressed by placing the welfare of others ahead of oneself. 

In the Old Testament, love is an expression of covenant commitment in acts of hesed. Ruth and Boaz serve as models of hesed by having loved other people more than they loved themselves. When Ruth offered herself in marriage to Boaz, he praised her for a great act of hesed, because she showed kindness and grace. Boaz also treated her with true hesed, even though she was Moabitess. Accordingly, hesed exists in a marriage when a husband and wife go beyond the minimal requirements of his or her obligation and show real kindness to his or her spouse.  

Throughout the Bible, marriage is frequently used as a metaphor to describe the nature of the relationship between God and his people. In the Scriptures, the marriage commitment reflects a permanent covenant between God and His people. Hosea describes the covenant He made with His people as a marital relationship: “I will betroth you to Me forever; Yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness and in justice, In loving kindness and in compassion” (Hosea 2:19).  

Biblical marriage based on personal commitment is more than a human contract. Hosea describes Israel’s spiritual condition in Hosea 4:1. “There is no faithfulness, no love, no acknowledgment of God in the land.” The marriage between God and Israel is the covenant, which implies more than a contract where business is at the heart of the relationship. While a contract can be maintained without any love between the two parties, the covenant as marriage is a relationship of love between God and His people.  

As a result, married individuals who show hesed do not simply fulfill their duties to their spouse but go beyond an obligation in a marriage relationship by showing real kindness to their spouse. 

References

Block, D. I. (1999). Judges, Ruth. Nashville, Tenn.: Broadman & Holman Publishers. 

Clements, R., & Swensen, C. H. (2000). Commitment to one’s spouse as a predictor of marital quality among older couples. Current Psychology, 19(2), 110. 

Garrett, D. A. (1997). Hosea, Joel. Nashville, Tenn.: Broadman & Holman. 

Johnson, M. P. (1991). Commitment to personal relationships. In W. H. Jones & D. Perlman (Eds.), Advances in Personal Relationships (Vol. 3, pp. 117-143). London: Jessica Kingsley. 

Johnson, M. P., Caughlin, J. P., & Huston, T. L. (1999). The Tripartite nature of marital commitment: personal, moral, and structural reasons to stay married. Journal of Marriage & Family, 61(1), 160-177. 

Swensen, C. H., & Trahaug, G. (1985). Commitment and the long-term marriage relationship. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 47(4), 939-945. 

I often share this anecdote with individuals who are applying for the Masters of Science in Counseling Psychology (MSCP) program at California Baptist University (CBU):  I was completing my master’s degree in marriage and family therapy (MFT) and working in a campus-based, community mental

health clinic. I had a gentleman who presented with depressive symptoms and expressed interest in receiving psychotherapy. While most traditional psychotherapeutic approaches would focus onproviding treatment to the husband individually, the clinic I worked in encouraged including spouses and/or family members in the treatment process. The assumption was that these additional individuals could be a key resource in the psychotherapy process, and this could help lead to better therapeutic outcomes for all of those involved. The gentleman was invited to bring his wife in for the intake process, and after observing their interactions together, the decision was made that the best way to treat the husband’s depressive symptoms was to also include his wife in the treatment process. This research-based, systemic approach to mental health is a unique and powerful component of the MFT training, degree, and licensure (Gerhart, 2013).

This story illustrates one of the unique aspects of MFT and provides a useful frame for responding to the question, “What exactly is marriage and family therapy?” When people hear the term MFT, it is generally assumed that MFTs only provide therapy to couples and families. While MFTs are uniquely trained and qualified for providing couple and family services, what really sets MFTs apart is the emphasis on looking at psychopathology and mental distress from a relational frame. Clients, whether they might be an individual, a couple, or a family, are considered in the context of their significant relationships, broader social networks, cultural backgrounds, and related influences. This contextual framework encourages MFTs to not only take into consideration these varying influences, but to also incorporate this perspective in to a treatment approach that addresses these influences.

The field of MFT has a long and distinguished history in the state of California. The first MFT license was offered in California, and, currently, there are more MFTs in California than in any other state. MFTs are also well represented by various professional organizations in California, and the MFT license has a broad scope of practice in the state. In addition, all 50 states, as well as the District of Columbia, support and regulate the practice of MFT. Finally, the Bureau of Labor Statistics anticipates demand for MFTs will increase by 23% between 2016 and 2026.

MFTs are employed in a variety of settings, including in private practice, community mental health clinics, schools, medical centers, substance abuse treatment facilities, and correctional facilities. Furthermore, the federal government has designated MFT as a core mental health profession, along with psychiatry, psychology, social work, and psychiatric nursing.

The MSCP program at CBU has been approved by the Board of Behavioral Sciences (BBS) as meeting the degree, curriculum, and experience requirements for MFT licensure in California. CBU’s MSCP program offers a unique delivery format with classes meeting in the evenings (Monday through Thursday, with some Saturday classes), and students can choose to complete the degree in two, three, or four years. In addition, all MSCP courses integrate clinical theories with a faith emphasis, and faculty teach from a biblically-rooted perspective.

Core faculty in the MSCP program have practiced an average of 23 years, so students can have confidence that they are learning from established professionals with a wealth of clinical experience. Finally, students in the MSCP program have the option of completing the Professional Clinical Counselor concentration, which gives those students the opportunity to pursue the Professional Clinical Counselor license in California, in addition to MFT licensure.

On a more personal level, I find the practice of MFT to be one of the most meaningful and satisfying aspects of my professional service. I am continuously humbled by the amazing, hard work invested by the clients that I work with, the resiliency that they demonstrate, and God’s grace in allowing me to be a part of their journeys. If you are looking to make a difference in the lives of others while pursuing an in-demand career path that will continuously challenge you, I highly recommend you consider the MFT-field and CBU’s MSCP program!

If you would like to learn more about the practice of MFT, the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) has this useful overview video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31EgvvbXS6M

References

Gehart, D. (2013). Mastering competencies in family therapy: A practical approach to theory and clinical case documentation. Belmont, CA: Cengage Learning.

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Jay Burke, PsyD, LMFT

Program Director, Counseling Psychology

California Baptist University

Check out the other posts in the series here:

http://blogs.calbaptist.edu/cshb/2019/02/25/introducing-the-graduate-school-blog-series-a-story/

http://blogs.calbaptist.edu/cshb/2019/03/04/practice-compassion-in-california-baptist-universitys-cbu-doctor-of-psychology-psyd-in-clinical-psychology-program-training-21st-century-good-samaritans-to-respond-to/

http://blogs.calbaptist.edu/cshb/2019/03/11/ms-sport-and-performance-psychology-program-at-cbu/

http://blogs.calbaptist.edu/cshb/2019/04/01/forensic-psychology/

God’s word, and work in us, reveals that we are created as relational and communal beings; we are created to be in relationships.  We experience relationships within our family of origin, our friend and peer groups, in school and work settings, and in the communities in which we live and serve.  These relationships, while important in themselves, are also critical ways in which we learn how to be in relationship with God; created in His image and likeness (Genesis 1:27).

This past spring, Professor Costello and I (both faculty in the College of Behavioral and Social Sciences here at CBU) had the opportunity to pursue a project which would work toward building relationships between CBU students and residents in the neighboring Riverside community of Casa Blanca.  Through funding provided by the Council of Independent Colleges, The Legacy Project was born.  The Legacy Project will allow for 20 undergraduate students, majoring in psychology, anthropology, sociology, behavioral science, and film, to conduct field work, by participating in a yearlong internship gathering the oral histories of senior residents living in Casa Blanca.  The oral histories will focus on the cultural history, resiliency, faith, and spirituality of the residents; and the residents’ histories will not only be preserved, but also shared.  In this process, opportunities to develop rich and flourishing relationships across generations and cultures will be numerous.

Students who participate in The Legacy Project will gather the senior residents’ oral histories through a research process called qualitative interviewing.  These interviews will be recorded on video, and crafted into short films featuring each senior participant.  The films will then be shown at an event, hosted at CBU, this spring (2019), and attended by both students and community members.

My own experience conducting fieldwork began as an undergraduate student, participating in an ethnographic study in communities called favelas in Rio de Janiero, Brazil.  These early experiences, interviewing community members, social workers, activists, and political leaders, were critical experiences, not just for the project that I was participating in, but also for developing my interests that lead to my future pursuit of a career in higher education.

Perhaps you have an interest in how your academic pursuits and community interests might align.  If so, I’d encourage you to find out more about The Legacy Project or other research labs and opportunities through the Center for the Study of Human Behavior.

Whether participating in The Legacy Project or another research or field work opportunity, I hope that you have a chance to build relationships with those that you might not have otherwise come into contact with.  The concept of imago dei reminds us that in His image, we can find shared human experiences and ways of being in groups and in places where we might have least expected it.  Or in the words of astronaut Donald Williams “For those who have seen the earth from space, and for the hundreds and perhaps thousands more who will, the experience most certainly changes your perspective.  The things that we share in our word are far more valuable than those which divide us.” (Kelley, 1988). In this era of multifaceted globalization, we are experiencing incredible interconnectedness, never experienced in this way during any other time in history.  Yet, the incredible paradox here may be the great lack of connection that we experience in the midst of being connected to everyone, and everything, everywhere.  Scholar Daniel Groody (2007) describes this as an era of integration and dis-integration.

In an era characterized be global connectedness, yet great dis-integration, we must seek ways to intentionally connect to our neighbors; resisting being connected to everything, yet feeling totally disconnected, even isolated or alone.  Consider how you will, in your personal, professional, and academic pursuits, lean in to your relational self and build bridges today.

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Groody, D. G. (2008). Globalization, spirituality, and justice: Navigating a path to peace. Maryknoll, New York: Orbis Books.

Kelley, K. W., & Association of Space Explorers. (1988). The home planet. Reading, Mass: Addison-Wesley.

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Dr. Jacqueline N. Gustafson

Dean

College of Behavioral and Social Sciences