{"id":250,"date":"2013-01-19T00:52:07","date_gmt":"2013-01-19T00:52:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blogs.calbaptist.edu\/lancerdiaries\/?p=250"},"modified":"2013-01-19T00:52:07","modified_gmt":"2013-01-19T00:52:07","slug":"boast-in-our-weaknesses","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/blogs.calbaptist.edu\/lancerdiaries\/2013\/01\/19\/boast-in-our-weaknesses\/","title":{"rendered":"Boast in Our Weaknesses"},"content":{"rendered":"

Nothing is more humbling than being asked to do something in the name of the Lord that you don\u2019t feel confident or comfortable in. You know, that wham! <\/em>stomach-hits-the-floor sort of overwhelming feeling that lets you know<\/em> it\u2019s the right thing to do because: 1) the opportunity has risen from a Plan apart<\/em> from your own; 2) comes out of the place you absolutely least expected it to; and 3) this request requires service from you that could quite possibly (and most likely) come from the most vulnerable or weakest area of your soul.<\/p>\n

Last year, two of my professors in the music building at CBU asked for a last minute favor for them and a small group of singers: the assigned pianist hadn\u2019t returned to school for the year, and this small group of seven singers, called Promise<\/em>, had an empty piano bench that desperately needed to be occupied \u2013 as in like, four-days-until-the-first-concert kind of need. The doubts and fear that permeated my mind were staggering. These types of small groups are some of the biggest ministries the School of Music puts out into the community and is also a major portion of exposing the school for people to see; they do their best to choose participants to represent the school in the most positive light, with high expectations for each person based on their abilities.<\/p>\n

Me? This group, made up of some of the finest singers at our school \u2013 professional singers, composers, graduates and performers \u2013 and they <\/em>need me? I have only ever accompanied someone maybe twice in my whole life, let alone an entire hour-long concert with seven singers depending on me\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>I\u2019m a singer. I\u2019m not educated enough in piano. I\u2019ve only had five years of lessons \u2013 these other <\/em>PIANO MAJORS have been playing piano for twice or three times my measly five.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>I can\u2019t just pick up a piece of music like they need me to and play it well enough to present to a congregation.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>No. Absolutely not.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em>But the tugging at my heartstrings refused to let the decline come out of my mouth. I had to do it. With a concert in four days and a congregation expecting Promise<\/em> to be intact at their church, prepared to lead the service in worship and a year\u2019s worth of services in various cities after that, I didn\u2019t have a choice. They needed<\/em> me. \u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Needless to say, the hours spent in a piano practice room the following four days were more numerous than the entirety of my practice career up to that point. Never had I felt more vulnerable and literally, shaken to my very core. My security blanket of inexperience and lack of knowledge had vanished and I was left utterly exposed for all to see.<\/p>\n

At first glance, I was slightly intimidated by my group because of the amount of talent and true gifts of music they possessed, but looking back at the situation many months later, I can\u2019t imagine myself being placed with a more appropriate, insightful, and encouraging group of musicians. In the hours of the first rehearsal, I struggled immensely with just getting over the nervousness inside of me. The singers each supported me with words, patience in my uncertainty, and roused the confidence in me that I couldn\u2019t manage to find on my own. The first couple of rehearsals were painful, with a myriad of questions like, \u201cWhat key am I in?\u201d, blatantly wrong chords and notes played, and several occasions where I stopped playing entirely while the group continued to sing. Baptism by fire? Yep, I was living it and wasn\u2019t enjoying the pressure of excellence I put on myself of and my own heart\u2019s lack of understanding towards my abilities. Many days, I left in tears of self-discouragement.<\/p>\n

In light of heartache, I knew the work I was doing belonged to the Lord. It was by His hand that the professors trusted my talent enough to ask me to serve in the small group, and it was His power that I sought for in the Word to strengthen me for the task He had led me to. The entire year\u2019s struggles continually squashed any hindering pride within me: \u201cA man\u2019s pride brings him low\u2026\u201d and it did just that \u2013dragging me by a leash through a refining fire in an inexperienced territory, which ultimately buckled my knees at the foot of the cross. As I\u2019ve heard many people describe, the way God humbles a man to submit to His will so that He can use them to bring Himself glory is the time where the man learns the most. On the journey through the muck and mire of inward and outward struggle is where God teaches the disciplines required to be a follower of His Son.<\/p>\n

Through all the moments of uncertainty, joy rooted to my heart as I reminded myself that God was giving me<\/em> the opportunity to serve him, even in my naivety and self-doubt.<\/p>\n

\u201cBut he said to me, \u2018My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.\u2019 Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.\u201d 2 Corinthians 12:9<\/p>\n

Continually, on those Sunday mornings, a member of the congregation would approach me and tell me of the tears they shed because of the service\u2019s impact on their hearts, and thinking about my own shed tears of heartache, I would recall,
\n\u201c\u2026 and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nothing is more humbling than being asked to do something in the name of the Lord that you don\u2019t feel confident or comfortable in. You know, that wham! stomach-hits-the-floor sort of overwhelming feeling that lets you know it\u2019s the right thing to do because: 1) the opportunity has risen from a Plan apart from your […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-250","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-abigail-pless"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.calbaptist.edu\/lancerdiaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.calbaptist.edu\/lancerdiaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.calbaptist.edu\/lancerdiaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.calbaptist.edu\/lancerdiaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/10"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.calbaptist.edu\/lancerdiaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=250"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.calbaptist.edu\/lancerdiaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/250\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/blogs.calbaptist.edu\/lancerdiaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=250"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.calbaptist.edu\/lancerdiaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=250"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/blogs.calbaptist.edu\/lancerdiaries\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=250"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}