Love: A Way of Life
Love is literally in the air and on the calendar, splashes of red and pink just about everywhere you turn your eye. Stores are flooded with customers searching for a fine chocolate for their own sweet or an expressive card to give to their loved one for Valentine’s Day. Love and friendship rules hearts at this time of year, as it has for generations and centuries before. I’m a typical 20 year-old-girl and fall for the sappy stories of couples throughout history like a child fawns over a small, furry puppy. Pathetic, I know, but love is what makes the world go around, right? Beyond the dream of a selfishly receiving love, the purest and sweetest of loves can be found. Growing up, I was privileged to have an incredible example of a true, biblical love.
Jack and Claudine Pless. Two finer people, I have never known. My parents were high school sweethearts, having met at church and began dating at 15. Completely polar opposites, my dad was the 60s version of a jock – sporty, musical, and somewhat of a mild troublemaker, whereas my mother was the sweet, shy, Audrey Hepburn-esque beauty.
They got married two years after graduation at 19 years old and began to build a life together that would last until my mother’s unexpected death at 59 years old. My dad grew more in love with my mom as the years went by, building her a dream house, surprising her with vacations to the east coast, and countless hours of watching her shop for collectible antiques “just because.” He showered her with praise and affection as his beautiful bride and mother of three children.
My mom thrived off making a home for my dad, constantly showing her appreciation in different ways and respecting him for his provision for the family. She loved him for his outgoing and bubbly personality, as well as being a hard worker and provider for our family. From an early age, Dad suffered from kidney issues, which led to kidney failure, bringing about mild complications from his early twenties that increased to a dire need for a kidney transplant by 40. By the time I was born, my parents had endured a kidney transplant and were fighting kidney cancer.
My mom assumed the role of ultimate provider for our family, a constant care-giver for my dad and his medical needs, while still being a mother to a young toddler, a teenage girl, and a 20-year-old, newlywed son. For the rest of my dad’s life, he received a disability check for his inability to work anymore after his fight with kidney cancer, which paid for our house payment while my mom worked as a florist to earn enough to pay the rest of the bills. I watched as my mother sacrificed her well-being, scraped pennies together, and yet made an enjoyable life for me on less than 100 percent energy and health, all with an unhealthy husband who was in and out of the hospital. I don’t know how she did it, considering what she had to work with, but her faith and trust in God’s sovereignty set an example.
My dad regained some of his health as I approached teenage years, but Mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and passed away the day after I turned 16. Dad lost the love of his life and truly missed her more each day until he passed away from a terrible infection last summer. The theme I saw in 16 out of 40 years of marriage was that love conquers all: sickness, struggle, joy, and memories of bliss. I am extremely thankful for the roles they both played in my life.
When I think of “love” in this romantic season of the year, my parents’ relationship is ever present in my mind. The constant sacrifice and dedication through troubled waters displays to me the meaning of a commitment, giving a firm understanding of love beyond the romance. It’s a challenge, but what if we gave everyone we know and met the same love that we so willingly accept at this time of year? True love isn’t just romantic or mushy-gushy; the self-sacrificial element of it should reign supreme. I think if we were to put our neighbor’s benefit above our own consistently as we are called to do, we could possibly see an overall improvement in the Body. I thoroughly enjoy a sweet love story just as much as the next person, but the sweetest of all love stories is between two people who unrelentingly give without expecting to receive. I don’t know about you, but I would much rather have true love than selfishness disguised as a mere figment of love.
Let our campus be the instigators of an attitude shift towards the day dedicated to love, and give to each other as my parents did: out of dedication, biblical principles, and responsibility for the others’ benefit. Let’s think of this on Valentine’s Day for the years to come, and possibly see love shown every day of the year– not just occasionally or on one designated day!
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