Speaking as a woman who loves to make and stick to plans, I have to admit that no other word scares me as much as it excites me. On one hand, I crave change and repel monotony. I love new experiences and the feeling that I am investing in something that really matters. On the other end of the spectrum, I fear change when it means that I may have to give up something that I have been relying on and looking forward to. This is something that I have been wrestling with throughout my life, and it has resurfaced and been amplified once again in my last year at CBU.
Senior year thus far has meant both extreme joys and foreboding decisions for me. I have never felt so far out on the brink of something huge, where my decisions will truly shape the rest of my life. With this knowledge, I have placed a lot of pressure on myself to figure out exactly what I’m doing with my life and precisely how it’s going to happen. As I’ve been caught up in this, I became suddenly convicted that I was placing too much of my identity in that, and I was not focusing fully on my first priority, which is to love and serve my Creator and his world.
Let me say that while I firmly believe that making plans and setting goals is a beneficial and important thing, it should never take higher priority than a Christ-follower’s trust in the Creator. Setting goals and following through is a key part of college life; it allows us to be productive in service and personal growth while investing as much as we can into our time in school. There comes a time, however, when we have to step back and proclaim to God that we trust him more than our own dreams. We know that he has what is best in mind, and sometimes following the path he puts you on means going a different direction than you initially planned for yourself. This is scary – but it is OK. I know that in the end, my Lord will be glorified and that it is my purpose to honor him with everything, and that is sufficient.